I’m a Dick but I’m an Inclusive One.

A few weeks ago I put up a reminding folks to get their smears test, that post was worded thusly:

“Gentle reminder: Do you have a cervix? Are you of the age to get a smear test?If you answered yes to both. Please book one soon and then actually go to it 🖤”Now I expressed myself that manner for two reason - the first being that this is just the way I speak, I am a pretty blunt person. I tend to express myself in blunt, slightly off beat ways. When I was young (and still to this day)!if I was asked to do something I’d almost always say “no” but then proceed to compete whatever was asked of me just because I liked annoying people. I’ve seen lots of posts with the same kinda friendly gal pal vibe and humor I’m not really that kinda person. I don’t think I’ve ever started a Facebook post with “LADIES”, it’s just not in my lexicon. Plus I find when talking about smear tests folks tend to get understandably nervous so using basic words to me makes it less of deal. The second being I have friends close and otherwise who could be at risk of cervical or breast cancer but I’d be excluding them if I just said “ladies”. I am a member and supporter of the LGBTQIA community I would be in remiss if I didn’t use inclusive language. I have had far too many people teach me better than that for me to be so disrespectful as to not be mindful of those who I hold close. For the record no one is obliged to use inclusive language or to be inclusive - I’m not saying anyone has to but what I am saying is I definitely have to because I care. I’ll regularly ask my mates if they’ve done their breast checks or asked if they’ve been tested recently after adding someone to their body count or they’ve noticed something different, in the same tone and support I do if they’ve had breakfast or been sleeping okay because to me it’s all nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of. Bodies are bodies and asking/supporting/reminding/pestering them could be the difference between them being healthy or being sick, if not worse. I don’t know about your world but in mine cervical cancer wouldn’t just kill important women in my life. It could kill important men, gender fluid and non-binary folks too and I would be just as devastated if I lost them. I care about spreading awareness and urging those at potentially at risk to go and get checked because saving a life is way fucking more important than anything else. I don’t just care about saving the lives of my female friends - I care about all of their lives. It’s important to me to make sure I’m harbouring an environment and feeding a presence online or otherwise that is of acceptance, support and tolerance because for me it’s just the right thing to do but also because I have a child and I never ever want my child to ever feel as though I may judge him or anyone he may bring to our home in whatever capacity, I want to lead by example for him. If I am the way I am trying to be, it will set the basis for how he goes on to learn about the world. Online all I have are words and over the years I’ve learnt a lot and tried my best to make sure that I change the way I speak to I can show support to those who need it. I would never want anyone to read my work and think I would be prejudiced towards them for anything other than them being a shit human being. If you’re a wanker and you think I don’t like you then I’m 100% cool with that cuz chances are - I don’t. Me and dick heads don’t get along. I went to an all girls school and slurs were thrown around like crazy, people would call other slags and sluts, spread rumours about others falsely outing them as “dykes” and on numerous occasions I heard it referred to as a “lesbian training ground” a phrase I would go on to reiterated it because I thought it was normal. It’s not and when I learnt that I stopped. Heterosexuality may be the standard for some folks by it’s not for all and being anything other than straight doesn’t make anyone bad or wrong. It’s not negative to be lesbian and it shouldn’t be used a a slur. I grew up in a religious environment with the notion that “men are men and women and women and being anything but straight is sin”. I whole heartedly do not support that. I have made it my business to make sure that I unlearn anything that I believe to be wrong. Even growing up society threw its opinions at me and I heard it all but I never agreed with it, often I wouldn’t outwardly disagree out of fear of being other or accused of a bad person and that was wrong. It’s important to me that I do not allow indifference and inaction to be in my life - if I oppose something that I view as injustice I will always try to speak up. There’s moments that I sincerely wish I could go back to and speak up but I can’t so I have to try my very best to make sure I do that now. Transgender people are valid people and the pronouns they ask you to use are valid. Asexuality is valid. Bisexuality isn’t just about being greedy, experimenting or confused. Being gay is sin in some religions but that doesn’t give anyone the right to judge, harm or ostracise anyone, if you’re part of a religion that only accepts heterosexuality that’s for you - but you believing that doesn’t give you any rights over other people’s lives. You’re not god. You’re just a bag of smushy organs and very fragile bones controlled by a sentient bowl of jelly so pipe the fuck down. You’re allowed to think whatever you want, you can believe whatever you want but it’s not okay to push that on others. Being your true and honest self whoever that may be, however they may look and whatever it entails - that person is valid. Me using inclusive language isn’t me belong politically correct or pandering to anyone - it’s simply me loving the people I do, wanting to protect them and supporting them. It’s me showing those who have taught me different that what they’ve said is valid. It’s just me trying to show them that my door is forever open. I am a loving person and I will extend that goddamn fucking love in whatever way I see fit - inclusive language being one of them. I will teach anyone who wants to learn whatever I have to offer in way of information and acceptance.  I will try my very best to make sure I teach my child to do the same because in a world of so much diversity why wouldn’t I? Why would I teach my small human to judge others and segregated them? Good people are good people - their sexuality, gender identity or representation shouldn’t come into that. If you feel attacked by my use of language, that’s not my problem. You are not my problem. One last time just in case it got lost in all of that:My inclusivity is not due to being politically correct because I fucking am not at all - it is all to do with love. I’ve been called the wrong name, I’ve been asked what my old name is name, I’ve had my child misgendered, I’ve been told to be more gender conforming, I’ve been told my sexuality is not valid and all of these things are minor inconveniences and annoyances for me but I’ve seen the pain it causes those that it means everything to and I wouldn’t want those I love to feel any of that pain let alone be the one who causes that pain. Just because something doesn’t bother you doesn’t mean it won’t bother someone else. Love and fuckery,Monica

               xxx