Every now and then I lie in bed and think about someone special..
I think, “man I’m so glad I don’t have to share a bed with someone on a nightly basis”
Ugh!! Sweaty, noisy snorers get to me beyond anything else …
I have enough trouble sleeping by myself in a Queen bed – let alone with some Snorlax beside me …
But the truth is, every now and then apart from this, I miss having someone there.
I suppose I just tell myself little things to make it ok when I’ve just gotten out of a relationship and make it easier when I’m single far down the track.
It makes it easier for me to distinguish between sex and … Wanting more.
I used to let people in so freely and easily and got so attached to having someone to snuggle with, that I had bouts of days upon days of not being able to sleep if no one was in my bed … You can imagine the amount of self loathing and regret that led to.
So now, while I actually prefer to sleep by myself – sometimes, someone will sneak up on me that I didn’t expect
And suddenly, I realize how nice it is to wake up next to someone…
To cuddle, kiss and have a bit of a morning bonk before going forth with my day and forgetting the dream like state he puts me in.
To be honest, he snores… He mumbles in his sleep and he can get quite sweaty… However, all of a sudden I don’t mind. It’s the first time in a long time I have been able to sleep with someone next to me. Even if it is only because I’m too drunk to drive home and sleep in my own bed, I decide to stay. The truth is, I actually like seeing him in the morning … And cuddling … And bonking… Regardless of my wine breath, smudged make up and bed hair. I just don’t care around him.
But – the game of life and love means I’ll never actually tell him this or let him in.
For the minute I do – I’ll have to get used to sleeping by myself again. I’m just not ready for that yet.
