I Struggle With Forgiveness

Today I am linking up with my dear friends Kalyn and Lauren.
I LOVE the link up that they do. They always present questions that you can discuss - ones that you would bring up and talk to a friend about over coffee. 
Today's questions are:

"What does forgiveness look like? At what point do you realize it's time to forgive and move on if someone takes advantage of you?"

These are some very hard questions for me to answer. I have always been someone who has struggled with forgiveness. I have gone years, harboring pain and resentment towards people in my past, for what they have done to me.
I am sure you have heard the saying that talks about forgiveness being more for yourself than for others. I really do believe that this is true. I've looked at myself, years down the road, still fuming and upset over something, and I think "I bet that person hasn't thought about me in years". The only one still being hurt by not choosing to let go of something, is me.
Now of course you can "say" you forgive someone, but what does true forgiveness look like? Forgiveness is being able to look at something that happened to you and honestly forgive someone and let go. Will that person always apologize and ASK for forgiveness? Most definitely not. But forgiveness is about you letting go of that hurt and moving forward. It is really easy to say you have forgiven someone - it is something completely different to have actually let go of that grudge, not letting it bother you any further, and getting past it.
Some of my deepest hurts have come from girls - friends who have betrayed me at some point in my life. These girls are ones who I have trusted with my heart, my feelings, my secrets and my love. Then something happens and they turn on you. The worst is when they use things you have told them in confidence against you. I have no idea why women can be so mean and are so quick to turn on each other. I can tell you right now, these instances are the ones that bother me for years to come.
Can I say I have honestly forgiven every single one of these girls? No. I am working on it and I am happy that I have been able to let go of some of the broken relationships in my past. Some are harder to get past than others, and that is ok.
I think the point I have to get to is realizing that a person may never come and apologize for what they did - they may never even feel any conviction over how they behaved. I cannot change that or force them to do anything. I have to accept that I was hurt and it is ok to feel that way. And then I need to let go of it all in my heart. I need to pray and honestly give the pain up to God and just move forward in life. Sometimes you really wish you could have an "eye for eye" over someone, but that is not how we are supposed to live. So you do move past the situation and get on with life. It truly is one of the hardest things for me and it is such a struggle. I have gotten better about it over the years and all I can do is pray that I will continue to let go of grudges and truly forgive those who hurt me throughout my life.

Check out one of the sweetest ladies I know: