“Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts.” - Arnold Bennett
You’ve probably noticed major changes on my blog lately and I’m sure there’s more to come. Truth is, as I’m expanding what I’m doing here, I’m also learning what I’m doing here! I could never fully grasp the concepts of technology and how all the “gadgets” worked. I used them, but I felt overwhelmed and flustered when I thought about the vast reaches of the Interwebs. But that’s okay. I’m not going to talk myself out of trying. I won’t say, “Oh, I could never do this so I still can’t,” and then give up. I’m a smart girl. I can figure things out. And when I don’t know what to do, I can ask for some help. That’s what technical support is there for, right? :~)
Nothing in life that’s truly worth it is easy. I’ve always sold myself short with my self-deprecating humor and overly explanatory justifications for why I just could not do something. But last year I challenged myself to start running. I trained with Stroller Strides of Long Island among moms who were trying to get back into shape, moms who’d been great athletes and moms who had never run a day in their lives. I fit in that latter category.
I believed I wasn’t cut out for it. I was the last one to finish the mile every fall and spring in school, barely making it through the last lap because I was so out of breath. I felt like a tight-fitting helmet was shoved down on my head, the heat suffocating me. I’d get dizzy, my face blotchy red and yellow, my lips pale, and I’d have to go to the nurse’s office. Every time. Twice a year, every year, all through school. Oh yeah, that was a great way to feel like less of a nerd! (It’s okay, nerds are cool now :~D)
Guess what? I ran the 5K and although my goal had been to simply finish by walking and running in intervals, I actually ran the whole way! I have never been prouder of myself than that moment when I accomplished something I thought was impossible. During a time in my life when I really needed it, I felt like I was in control, strong and able and positive I could do more. The craziest thing was that after all those years of discouraging myself and not really learning how to do it right, I found out I actually liked running!
- What believing in myself looks like
So the same thing applies here. I’m learning about blogging with a little bit of trial and error and quite a lot of intuitive know-how that I didn’t expect. I got through the process of transferring my blog from a free WordPress hosted one to a self-hosted site almost seamlessly. There are a few bugs to work out and I might play with the theme and widgets a bit to get the right look and feel, but I’m doing it. And it feels fantastic to say that this is really MY blog, with my sweat and tears and aching fingers!
What feels even better is knowing that my efforts are essential to taking my life to the next level. I could have left this as it was, free and simple, but then I’d be getting back exactly what I’d paid- nada. And although I started this as a therapeutic activity, there’s no reason why I can’t make some moola for myself and my daughter with my writing. I know my worth- I’m not worth zero! So I’ll be writing some sponsored posts and personal ones and you might see some advertisements, too. *Waves at potential sponsors*
Don’t worry, I’ll never sell out. I’ll always write what is true for me. My opinions, my thoughts, my own blog. Just like it’s always been. Only now, in addition to all of your likes, comments, and support to feed my soul, I’ll also be getting a little green in my pocket. Besides, you know I’m still the real thing when I can put that I’m a Muslim in the tagline and put a button in my sidebar for a blog with the words sex and bacon in the title! And the button has a (gasp) pig on it. The blasphemy! ;~)
What can I say? I’m unashamed and unafraid, uniquely me, adjusting as I learn and improve. Join me in this transition, won’t you?
