I Was Going to Marry Balki.

Posted on the 09 October 2013 by Rarasaur @rarasaur

Balki was a smart guy. Certainly no Bozo the Clone.

Back in the day, sometime before 1993, there was a show called Perfect Strangers.  I fell in love with one of the main characters, Balki Bartokomous, because he was hilarious and good-hearted. I would watch every episode, though I’m sure most of the subplots went right over my head– just because of how funny it was to hear him say things the wrong way.

Mrs. Rara Bartokomous.  Yes.  It was decided.  I was going to marry someone who had a case of lapsus linguae because nothing on earth was funnier than singing “5 onion rings” instead of “5 golden rings” in classic Christmas songs.

Of course, time passed, and I ended up marrying a veritable prima ballerina of speech.  Dave does not make missteps with spoken words.  He pirouettes around, leaps over, and spins gracefully past them.  And despite all that, I love him still.

Luckily for my funny bone, and perhaps even our marriage, I’m able to get my mistaken-word kicks from television.  There’s quite a few shows that kept up the tradition of Perfect Strangers, and though there’s never been another Balki, there’s been some pretty great moments– most of which I quote constantly.

Here are some of my favorites.

Farscape

What happens when you bring Southern USA dialect to the outer galaxies?  You get aliens who start counting time by saying, “1 Mippippi. 2 Mippippi.”  You also get a large quantity of comical anti-proverbs, because let’s face it– Southern USA dialect barely makes sense as it is.

Raising Hope

This kooky sitcom mom comes up with doozies every episode.  It makes me cringe and laugh at the same time.

The Sopranos

Little Carmine was known for his expressions, but my favorites always came from Paulie Walnuts.

Paulie: That’s why dinosaurs don’t exist no more.Paulie’s Comàre: Wasn’t it a meteor?Paulie: They’re all meat-eaters.

Married … with Children!

What? I had to include her. It was as inevitable as death in Texas.Well, that’s all folks.  Buenos Nachos!________________________________________________Do you enjoy verbal slip ups as much as I do?  If you do, you’ll probably enjoy the awesome posts from this week’s Prompts for the Promptless.  Be prepared to biggle your gut off!