Have you ever had a small child become completely serious with you?
They look you in the eye and emphatically state that, when they grow up, they are going to own three giraffes and have enough Christmas lights on their house to brighten New York City year ’round.
You smile and nod, because they’re so young that they couldn’t possibly fathom how those ideals will change with time. They don’t know how big giraffe poop is and how monthly electricity is roughly the same price as a bundle of unicorn hair. They don’t know how housing associations don’t like the idea of Christmas year ’round, and how giraffes aren’t usually wild strays that you can find in abandoned parking lots.
I was that kid– about everything– and apparently I still am, because even though my blog is only one human year old– I’m ready to make emphatic claims about what I have no intention of ever doing.
Ready? Here we go…
1. Activate the “Rate my post” thing.
I don’t like the idea of rating posts. For one, it’s not an accurate measurement of readership in any way and inefficient statistics bother me. For two, the popular vote is very often silly. I’m sure anything about my cats is my most popular post, so if you’re interested in– just search for cats. For three, if I’m going to ask my readers to take an action, it’s going to be one that benefits our community or this blog– not one that has no impact at all.
This is pretty much how I look while reading blogs, so you can imagine the effort involved in putting down the grapes and hitting stars for no reason.
2. Re-Blog
This isn’t personal. I’m happy to write a post and direct people to you, and I’m incredibly honored when people re-blog me. I just don’t like the way it looks on the themes I’ve chosen for this blog. I feel like it’s very confusing– like a complex photo with too much to look at and not enough explanation.
There’s so much happening here. Absorb it all!
3. Write Paid Reviews
It’s not that I take a moral stance against paid reviews, I just couldn’t do it. Too much pressure. I would end up making a list about all the different birds that bother me and why.
My complex relationship with our feathered friends started with these guys. What do you wanna do?
4. Put up Ads
Again, I have no issue with ads on blogs. In fact, I’m very often the one clicking them. I just don’t like the way they look. If they’re badly done, they’re ugly. If they’re well done, they distract me.
True story.
5. Re-activate Comment Approval or put in CAPTCHA
Nothing bums me out like having my comment in moderation, or losing a comment to the pitfalls of the internet because I mistyped a CAPTCHA code. I take a firm anti-comment-moderation stance, and that’s about as political as I get on this here blog.
I’m not a robot. I’m a real girl. Why doesn’t CAPTCHA ever believe me?
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So, what about you? Did you ever want to own a giraffe? Do you have Christmas year-round at your house? If so, can I come over? Is there anything you can’t see yourself ever adding to your blog, taking away from your blog, or writing about in your blog?