I seriously know for a fact if I hadn't had my four children, I would have moved straight back to my roots in Maine. I thank my ex husband for them, and nothing more. If I hadn't had my children with him, I would have sent him straight out of my life for good.
But, because of my children, I think it's important to be civil. It doesn't mean I forgot all the things he did to me, because I haven't. I forgave him, but it doesn't go beyond that. I deal with him because of my kids and put up a front that we are friends for the kids.
But the fact is he isn't a very nice person. And it's only because of my children that I put up with him.
What would you have done if things were different in your life? Would you have done things differently?
I do believe it is easier to separate yourself from an ex when you don't have children. You have no ties to keep you together and you can go your own way. When you have children together, it permanently binds you to each other's lives because of them.
I guess the important thing is not to linger in the what ifs about if your life could have taken a different path. The fact is that it didn't.
I guess I am venting about this a bit, as I am ticked with him for not letting me sleep on their couch anymore during my stressful situation with these criminal neighbors. I've had death threats and here's my ex saying I can't come to a safe place anymore. It's very real and happening and I want to come to a safe place and at my children's house is not going to be an option anymore, or else he will kick me out and I might not be able to see my children. So, I am going to have to be patient and hope these people leave soon and pray that they don't act out their threats. I really don't believe my ex cares, which makes him a terrible father, in my mind. He would be truly sorry if these terrible people did indeed go through with their threats.
I hope they don't, I hope they leave and get out of my life for good, and I'm going to be civil to my ex for my kids sake and that's it.
But if I hadn't had my kids with him, I would have gone back to Maine. It's too bad I ever met him, but I am thankful for my four children. And I'm not going to delete this as it is how I feel about the Batterer that he was. Glad I left his home, but it's really unfortunate that he got away with lying in court and the battering got overlooked by a stupid judge. School of hard knocks I guess.
Jennifer Jo Fay
Copyrighted November 27, 2012