For those of us who suffer from anxiety, our lives can become limited and small if we let it interfere with the things we want to do.
One cure is to force yourself to do the thing you fear, in spite of the fear, so that you gradually become less afraid of it. Exercises such as deep breathing are also recommended, to help your body relax.
There is a meditation practice in which you embrace your fear, accepting it with love and openness instead of trying to escape. Fear is part of your life, part of you. Accept it.
Don’t you want to live your life expansively, with courage?
No. I’ve had a lifetime of that. I’m finished.
I’m tired of waking up in the middle of the night worrying about fulfilling a commitment I made. Or having to take a sleeping pill so that I won’t wake up worrying about it.
For example, I hate going to a large gathering of people without any set agenda other than random conversation accompanied by food and alcohol. When I force myself to go, it is never for me, but some obligation I feel to the people who invited me.
I’m sure if they knew what I suffered, they would not ask me to come. But since they enjoy such gatherings, they can’t imagine that I don’t.
I am not going to list all the things that make me anxious.
Each of us has our own list.
The question is, what are we going to do about it?
I am going to stop agreeing to do the things that I think, after I’ve done them, were good to have done, but which, before I do them, make me crazy.
Sure, there are still going to be things that I will agree to do because there is a more important reason to do them. And it’s OK to do things for other people that really matter, even though they’re hard to do.
My problem is that I think agreeing to do something six months from now is like not having to do it.
My reasoning goes like this: Hey, most people would love to do this. It’s supposed to be fun.
Normal people should be able to do these kinds of things. Therefore I should be able to do them. Therefore I will do them.
Note to self: stop the insanity.
