The wife and I embarked on our trip to the US with stops in Orlando, LA, Vegas and finally Hawaii. Mrs. B was understandably excited since this was all new to her and boy did she get a shock. From the price of goods at TJ Maxx, Ross and Marshall’s to the variety of fast food joints, her excitement reached new highs.
After a four hour drive from LA, we finally hit the bright lights of the Vegas strip and her jaw dropped.
In the 3 days spent in Sin City, we did everything we could from visiting shows to eating a mountain load of ice cream! We now know why so many Americans border on obesity! In fact, I could swear I saw my wife walk around the whole day with the top button on her shorts undone!
‘It’s ok. It’s God looking out for us and preventing us from getting fat.’ She preached. ‘He really must love us that’s why we can’t find any…OH MY GOD’ Mrs.B suddenly screamed as she bounced in the back seat. ‘There’s an ‘In & Out’ down that street.’On our last night after a Cirque Du Soleil viewing, Mrs.B was starving and we drove around the side streets looking for a Chick Fil-A. After a good 20 minutes of loitering around we decided to make our way back to the hotel a little after midnight. The wife who suddenly became health conscious starts to tell me;
In true ‘Fast & the Furious’ style, we pulled a hand brake turn and made our way to the street Mrs.B identified. When we got to the corner and looked down the road we couldn’t see anything.
‘Babe, where is it?’ I asked.
‘I saw it, I swear I saw it! Unless I’m so hungry I’m seeing things.’ She put her handstogether. ‘God, please be there.’
Driving down the road in question we realised Mrs.B was able to spot the eatery simply by a momentary and partial glimpse of the signage!
She literally only had a split second and saw a white letter ‘N’ and knew exactly what it was!
A couple of midnight cheeseburgers later, I realised that my wife is equipped with a ‘Junk Food Radar’ and if my Mrs.B’s theory holds, God doesn’t love us!
Marriage Tip No 22:
When in Vegas, Eat Pray Love….& Eat Again!
Welcome to my super-sized married life!
