I blinked back tears.
Neither of us moved, we had said so many things, so many angry things, too much to take back. The scene of earlier was etched into my mind. It replayed over and over again like a broken record.
A clean break. That's what I needed. That's what I wanted. It made sense. Right? I gave him back his ring. But he didn't take it. He left it behind before he walked out the door. I couldn't follow him.
Chained to my bed with the weight of the loss of him. My tears slid into the ocean that had been my pillow. What have I done? If you love someone, set them free and if its meant to be they'll come back to you. Unicorns and fairy tales.
But. There. He. Is. His eyes were intent upon me, not even a blink.
I blinked back tears.
I felt the ring making its mark on my palm. He stood in the pouring rain, drenched from head to toe, and it wasn't getting me soaked that stopped me from stepping off the porch, it was pride.
But I had been lying to myself for months, denying him my love, to feel loved, and to hear the words. So much time has passed.
But now, staring at him, only four feet away, I felt that the words were now on the tip of my tongue, longing to be said.
I blinked back tears.
A rush of emotion flowed through me as I ran to him, into his arms, and I looked into his eyes, and finally found the courage to say it, "I love you, I have since the first day that we met, its like, I've searched for you my entire life and here you are, and I was afraid if I embraced that feeling, that you'd leave, and take my heart with you. I gave it to you once and I never got it back.'
He stared back, and without saying a word, I leaned forward and kissed him. There in that moment nothing else existed, just me, him, and the rain. But his arms were firmly pushing me away, his eyes were large and sad.
I blinked faster.
His lips moved but I heard no sound. Am I ok?, he's asking. Seeing someone else? Am I hearing this right? But we're meant to be?
My face was wet from the rain but I blinked back my tears anyways.
If you love someone, set them free and if its meant to be they'll come back to you.
This post was inspired by a prompt from the weekly Shades of Social Media Link Up. Brandi from Mama Knows It All asked us to write about "The one who got away...".
Here are some other inspired posts:
Check out the FB Page of Shades of Social Media; it represents the stories of women of color online.
