The sunscreen glues to my skin
Caking my pores
The soft down of my arms laced with
Traces of thick white fondant.
I lay on the deck
Sunning myself like a lizard
On New Mexican granite
The heat reflects off the radiant surface
Further cooking skin
Like crackling bacon.
With no pool parties to attend
No watermelon to slice open
Juice running in rivulets
To culminate in sticky ponds
No laughing knitted community
To engage with jokes and company
I spend a solitary holiday
Contemplating what it means to
Be American.
I decide I like the pool parties
The barbecues, the cluster of
Closely woven friendships
The freedom to bare my skin
On my own back deck in
Salute to the sun.
But
The clap of explosives fills me with anxiety
Nameless visceral reverberating in my
Skeleton and gently pounding my fillings.
The coolers of beer, the hellos and how are yous
The warm sunshine reflecting off my deck
My gobby layer of zinc
With the promise of explosives to follow
This is American.
Happy Fourth of July, from your friendly neighborhood Cat Lady