I feel disconnected and disoriented,
While sensing everything that is in the capacity
Of being sensed and everything that is not.
I am not drunk but my body is numb
And there is no escape.
I am tired of seeking refuge in others.
Everything material finally abandons you is what I understand.
Probably only humans are material.
And no, I don’t pity myself
To be a human and for being around humans.
I am not capable of pitying anymore.
All I want right now is to cry.
I want to cry so I can breathe,
Because breathing is something which will probably activate my motors.
At least I will do something. This something is better than the nothingness
I feel around me, which is filled with decayed emotions and degenerating thoughts.
I wanted someone to hug me tight and press my lungs
To create a vacuum that will pull air inside.
But I got a thrust rather, and ironically it wasn’t intentional.
The person was just turning away from me and I got stabbed by a nail.
Within a moment, my wound was ruined and I started crying.
Well finally, I cried.
I can’t help but thank a human for that.
– Shantam Sahai
