When Crazy Meets Exhaustion is one of my favorite bloggers out there. She is absolutely hilarious. Her answers to my questions truly cracked me up. She also recently wrote an awesome post about breaking down a nap – minute by minute. Good stuff. With that, let’s get to the questions!
If you had to sum up your blog in two sentences, what would you say?It’s my connection to the adult world. Not, like, porno-adult, but please-God-no-more-Mickey-Mouse-Clubhouse-adult.
What thing did you do today as a parent you wish you could take back and do over?
Signed my kid up for a sports class at the YMCA. WHY would I pay $50 to have him kick a ball?! Idiot…
What thing did you do today that you are happiest about?
Switched the laundry before it molded in the washer. What? That totally counts.
What is your least favorite activity to do with your children?
I loathe bath time. I would rather suffer through labor pains than try to contain my wiggly ones in a vat full of water. It’s chaos and quite frankly, I’m over those bath crayons. They DON’T just “wipe right off.” Liars.
What is your most favorite activity to do with your children?
I love to watch new experiences through their eyes, i.e. the first snowfall, visiting a new place, meeting a new friend. Everything is so fresh and innocent. Until they ruin it, which they normally do, either by crapping themselves or melting down in public. But before the poop and yelling, new experiences are magical.
When your child drives you absolutely crazy and you want to scream a curse word, which word do you wish you could say?
I’m allowed to be vulgar here, right? Because since my daughter has learned to talk and since my son has become infatuated with telling time (It’s 9:03, now it’s 9:04, hey look! Now it’s 9:05) at least forty times a day, I want to yell, “SHUTTHEFUCKUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!” And each time it crosses my mind, I feel so horrible that I agree to build the tallest Lego tower in the world, and then one kid knocks it over and the other flips out and we repeat the process. It’s a sick, sick cycle.
What’s your favorite lie you have ever told your child?
“I will cancel Christmas. I will call Santa this minute and wipe the day right off the calendar.” Like a boss.
At what moment did you realize that you really were grown up?
I realized that I was a full-fledged adult when, after only two days, I was given this newborn human being and told to get the hell home with him. None of the nurses or doctors even offered to stay with me for a week to make sure I knew what I was doing. Reality check to the throat, friends. Oh, and last Christmas when my own parents FORGOT to buy me a gift because they were so focused on buying for the kids. I was all, “It’s cool, guys. Christmas is for kids,” but on the inside, I was all, “This is my personal hell.”
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