Having a baby is a life-changing event and one that requires preparation. I read books, looked online and asked other mums about their experiences.
For me I was not just having one child first, I ended up having twins as my first children. I don't know how many do this but I am sure that it is not that common.
BigW invited me to be a part of their Bub & Me Education Program in collaboration with select midwives across Australia.
This post is the first in my three-part series about being a new mum, breastfeeding, childbirth and great things you can get from BigW for your new little person/people.
Below are my questions to Pinky and her answers, I hope that this interview is helpful for all new mums.
Q1. The expectation of what it is like to be a parent to the reality can be quite a shock for new mums. What do you tell new mums about suddenly being responsible for a little person?Pinky: B efore birth, I suggest how important it is to set up your support network. I f I am seeing a desperate new mum, I always ask about what level of support she has and discuss ways to get support if she doesn't have enough help . We are so conditioned that reaching out and asking for practical help is 'weak'. It absolutely takes a village, whether this is hired help, friends and family or government-funded 'in-home care' (I have facilitated this for families with high needs).
The biggest thing is about lowering expectations both of yourself and your child and filtering out the 'noise' about what you 'should' be doing - according to a recent survey by Big W, 67% of mums say social media puts pressure on mums to live an ' insta -worthy' life.
Q3. I thought I knew what I was doing with my third child, but he was so different and nothing I did worked. I was doing all the things that worked with the twins but finally had a realisation that he is a different person and I needed to listen to his cues and focus on what he likes and doesn't like. How do you help parents do this from the start if they have more than one child?
Pinky: Rather than simply heading to ways to 'settle' although of course, keeping your baby as comfortable as possible is important for baby and you, it's worth trying to work out why this is happening. For instance, could there be allergies or food intolerance contributing to reflux symptoms (your baby is never allergic to your breast-milk but may react to foods passing through your milk) ? Tongue-tie can also mean babies are swallowing air because their latch and sucking is often ineffective , and a fast breast milk flow can also create issues for young babies swallowing air as they feed - reclining as you feed or 'paced bottle feeding' can slow the flow and make it easier for baby to manage .
It is really hard work when you have a super unsettled baby, especially if you have other children, but wearing your baby in a carrier or wrap can help settle your baby and you can still do activities with two free hands. There are also 'holds' that can help relieve gas pains such as lying baby across your arm on his tummy, with his head facing your elbow and supporting him with a hand between his legs as you walk/sway. B aby massage can be a great way to support your baby's nervous system and move the gas - clockwise circles on baby's tummy, alternated with knee bends.
Pinky: Wow! That sounds like a nightmare. Firstly, it's important that regardless of your sleep (or lack of it), that you eat regularly - handy one-handed snacks such as , avocado or cheese on crackers, a can of tuna or salmon and boiled eggs (cook several and keep them in the fridge) are an easy boost - and drink according to your thirst. Your partner's /husband's support is vital - he is a grown-up so needs to take up some of the slack, not expect to be 'looked after'. Please don't be shy about setting up a help roster with friends, whether that is doing a school pickup, taking your other kids out so you can rest and focus on feeding or bringing food. Most people are delighted to share the experience of a new baby.
Try to set up young children with activities and snacks ( ' Netflix and chill ' , even if it's a kids' show or sit on the big bed and read stories or sit outside and get the toddlers to 'paint the fence' with water ) , so you can spend time giving baby skin to skin snuggles to boost your milk-making chemistry and allow baby to feed frequently .
Remember, a n empty breast makes milk more quickl y s o as you breastfeed or pump, you can try massage and breast compressions (high up on your breasts , not down near the nipples) to help empty your breasts more effectively . Y ou will notice your baby start swallowing more quickly and if pumping you will see the milk start flowing a few seconds after compressions . If you are exclusively pumping or baby isn't a strong feeder you can try power pumping (as well as putting baby to the breast if he will latch): To power pump: Pump for 20 minutes; Rest for 10 minutes; Pump for 10 minutes; Rest for 10 minutes; Pump for 10 minutes . A double electric pump is most effective - otherwise, if you use a single pump, instead of the rest periods, switch breasts and pump the other side.
If you have concerns about breastfeeding, it's always helpful to see an IBCLC Lactation Consultant who can take a history of your baby and you and give you personalised advice (conditions such as thyroid disorders, PCOS, low iron levels, retained placenta or PPH can all influence milk supply).
is Australia's most recognised and respected Breastfeeding expert. She's an IBCLC Lactation Consultant, Best Selling Baby Care Author, Mum of five and creator of award-winning, all-natural and organic cookies to nourish breastfeeding mothers and support a healthy milk supply. Download our top tips to help you boost your milk supply
DID YOU KNOW?
- BIG W research reveals three-quarters of Aussie mums have regrets about their first pregnancy including spending a whopping $163 million on baby products, as well as spending over 23 million hours shopping ahead of the birth of their first child.
- Social media pressure - Two thirds (67%) of Aussie mums of children aged 0-13 agree that social media puts pressure on new mums to lead "instaworthy" lives
- Shop 'til they drop - one in six mums spend a staggering 41 hours or more shopping for baby products before birth
- Bub & Me time - 25% of Aussie mums say they regret not savouring the time when they were pregnant
- Special talents - Breastfeeding is the achievement Aussie mums are most satisfied with, with one in four (24%) claiming it as the skill they are most confident in
Highs and lows - 1 in 3 Aussie mums found the first six weeks after giving birth to be the hardest phase of their baby's development.
Did you know that the most enviable celebrity mums include:
A huge thank you to BigW and Pinky McKay for this opportunity. Make sure to stay tuned for the next two posts in BigW Bub & Me Series on Mummy to Twins Plus One.
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