My one free day between now and April 7.
We're almost halfway through February and Easter pageant rehearsals are in full swing. My life is crazy, almost to the point it was at some of my busiest times in college. The biggest difference is that when I leave work, I leave it, so I'm not staying up until 3 or 4 in the morning trying to finish papers, articles, and other projects before getting in few meager hours of sleep before waking up to start the routine of class, work, and whatever else life was throwing my way.The last Easter pageant performance is on April 7. That is 54 days away (not counting today). In those 54 days, there is only one day where I don't have something on the calendar. Granted, a couple of those days the only thing I have on the calendar is hanging out with friends, but when you consider the fact that the large majority of what I did this weekend was hang out with friends and yet, with the exception of getting ready and sleep time, I only spent a total of 10 minutes in my hour between waking up on Friday morning and getting home at approximately 10:30 last night. It was a crazy weekend. A fun one, yes, but a crazy one. I don't feel like I rested much at all and I've started into another week of work (with 10 hour days) before flying to Wisconsin on Friday morning. My only respite will be President's Day next Monday where, thankfully, the only thing on my calendar is hanging out with some friends at Hard Times.
But then I launch into two full weeks of work, two more weekends away, and then another full week of work before I have one day with nothing on the calendar. One day where I can sleep until noon, not take a shower, stay in my PJs all day, and eat junk food on the couch while I watch Netflix if I want to. That's probably not gonna happen because, let's be honest, you can pretty much guarantee something is gonna pop up for that day within the next four weeks, but hey...a girl can dream, right?
I'm also trying to figure out how to launch a campaign to get NJI Media to hire me sometime within the next year or 18 months. And I need to do my taxes. And design more Save the Dates for my sister. And start the wedding website. Oh, and clean my room so it doesn't look like a hurricane hit it. And catch up on my project blog.
There's a reason I'll be baking tonight. (It relieves stress. It also happens to be Valentine's Day tomorrow and I've learned over the years many people's good will can be bought using the bribe of baked goods... >.>)
But the point of this post was not really to rant about how stressed I will likely be in the coming weeks. It's to talk about feet. Well, sort of.
As you know, I'm playing Mary of Bethany in my church's upcoming Easter pageant. There are three major scenes in which I am on stage -- the raising of Lazarus (two lines, lots of tears, it's great), the crucifixion of Jesus (no lines, lots of tears, not so great), and my absolute favorite: Mary anointing Jesus.
We've worked the raising of Lazarus. In fact, we'll run through it tonight as we do a full run of act one for the first time. The crucifixion won't be blocked until next week, but it'll be similar to what it usually is -- me with a few other people like Mary, mother of Jesus and Martha, at the foot of the cross, sobbing through the whole scene. Like I said, tears...lots of them. It's a good thing I can pretty much cry on cue. Anyway.
We've worked the anointing a few times. In fact, yesterday was the third (or fourth?) rehearsal. But until yesterday we'd never actually worked the anointing itself.
You would think it wouldn't be that hard. Mary walks in, anoints Jesus, everyone freaks out, Jesus defends her, the end. But it's so much more than that.
Nevermind the fact that the anointing is taking place during a five and a half minute song. Yes, you read that correctly. Five and a half minutes. But on top of that, this scene is so intensely emotional and in a unique way so provocative.
As our assistant director and I got together an hour before the rest of the cast members in the scene showed up, I felt awkward. It felt uncomfortable running through the scene, not quite knowing what to do. There wasn't anyone else there, so I had to simply imagine that there was a room full of people. On top of that, I had to pantomime washing an anointing someone's feet. There's only so much you can do when you don't actually have the props you need and, you know, the feet to wash/anoint. But as we kept running through it and continued to play the song over and over again, it finally hit me. The key changed, the song swelled, I let down my hair...and the tears began to flow.
This scene is so much more than an awkwardly long five and a half minute song where I'm trying to find different things to do so I don't bore the audience to death. It's about more than the awkwardness of washing and anointing someone's feet. It's about so much more.
I had no idea how much finally doing this scene would affect me. I couldn't have predicted that the tears would flow so readily, so easily, the very first time. There's a lot about this I still need to process. There's a lot that I feel like the Lord is going to teach me about myself, about Him, about letting go, about worship, about adoration, about relationships, about sacrifice. I will hopefully be sharing some of my realizations each week with you as I pray through this role and this scene.
I left rehearsal last night with a mix of emotions. Excitement. Nervousness. Awe.
And then one little thought slipped into my head...it's a really good thing I'm not afraid of feet.
