Firstly, thank you for such a great response to my introductory post for my new positive thinking series #beabetteryou. All of your messages, tweets and emails really help spur me on to do this so thank you so much.
I want to begin the series by talking about a fear that we all seem to possess at some point in our life, and for some people this fear is something that affects their everyday life.. the fear of simply just asking..
We've all been there - too scared too ask. Whether it's because we feel too embarrassed or silly to, or because we think we know that the answer will be no. We've all had several points in our lives where we've let opportunities go, sometimes opportunities that we didn't even know could of existed (because we never took the chance to ask). Most of us regret not asking and some of us get on with our day and tell ourselves that we did the right thing by steering clear of any sort of awkwardness.
By why do we assume that it'll be awkward? How would we know, unless of course, we asked?
Take for example my Husband and I. If you're a regular reader of my blog, you'll be more than aware that my Husband Adam and I got together when were just 14 years old. Now I know I was a child, but I'd more than 'liked' him for a long time. You see, when I first saw him I felt something special, call it love at first sight if you like, all I know was, it was something special and I couldn't get him out of my mind. That's romantic and sweet and all, but I did nothing about it. I'd sit in assembly every single day straining my neck trying to find him amongst the faces, I knew his timetable inside out, I tried desperately to get to know his friends in the hope that perhaps he'd notice me. I'd do everything possible to be near him, but yet for some reason I never did the most simplest thing of all - ask him out - and I was convinced I never would. One day my best friend at the time very randomly, probably fed up with me obsessing, told him how I felt and to my utter shock he agreed to go out with me. Could it really have been THAT simple? - As simple as just asking?
And my point here is... what if she'd never asked.. what would my life be like?
I'm 25 (and a half now), I went on to marry that guy, to have his baby, to build a life with him. A life where we are pretty much inseparable. This is the same guy I was convinced wouldn't want to go out with me. The same guy that I'd told myself would make me feel awkward if I asked him out. If in that split second she'd decided not to ask, among everything else, I wouldn't be a Mum to Ethan and I wouldn't be sitting here writing a blog called Bump to Baby. It was at that moment in my life that I realised - 'well - there really is no harm in asking'. That one second question turned into a lifetime of happiness.
Lets fast forward 11 years.. and put that 'there's no harm in asking' phrase to the test..
So I don't know about you, but I always record shows that I want to watch on TV only to find that I never get a second to actually sit down and watch them. Our box downstairs lets us record but our box upstairs doesn't and I find that I get to watch more TV when I get in bed at the end of the day as that's my time to properly 'switch off'. The problem with that is, all my recorded shows are downstairs and I'm upstairs. So a couple of weeks ago I decided to go about enquiring about getting a new box. At £199 these boxes aren't particularly cheap, but I wondered if because we'd been loyal customers for a good few years maybe the company might be nice enough and upgrade us for free?
Okay, perhaps a little ambitious you would think? It's easy to assume that the answer's going to be none other than a big fat no. But when you think about, really what harm is there in asking? How could we know that it's going to be a no before we even ask the question? So with this in mind and as cheeky as I may have sounded I dug deep down found some confidence and made a phone call, which, just so happened to result in a new box - which by the way, didn't cost me a penny.
Getting a free box is nice, but it isn't the point I'm trying to make here. The point is - never be afraid to ask! Because in reality, you can sit thinking about whether or not to make a phone call, ask a guy/gal out, approach someone about a job, whatever it is, you can sit thinking about it for a very long time but you will never know the answer until you ask. A little confidence, a belief in your self and the ability to take a chance can sometimes result in something you never expected but that you really wanted.
Something we all need to remember a little more is - the future isn't something already written out, the future is something that WE create!