It Was an Episode.

Yesterday was an odd day, well at least for the last few months, I had an "episode".
Now, just like old times, there was no trigger. Just a sudden feeling of feeling faint, which triggers the panic.
It came out of no where, I had woke in the morning, my husband had left for work and I packed up the kids for a trip to the store. This was the first trip I had ever taken with just the 3 of us to the store and all went well. No problem, I drove, no panic...
Came home, put all the stuff away cleaned the house, put dinner in the crock pot, and lounged out on the couch.
My Grandmother stopped over for a visit, and then out of no where while sitting and chatting it happen...
While the Episode was only brief it brought with it an overwhelming fear that, I will again "go crazy".
One year ago tomorrow my life made some changes, moved into a house in the next town over from my hometown, and amazing people came into my life. But One year ago was also the start of my complete downward spiral... The Question is Why?
Why would changes for the better make me worse?
We moved from a dumpy apartment into a cute little house with a yard. A beautiful place to call home.
Wonderful people came into my life, any given time of the day there is usually someone around for me to have a brief chat with. We visit each other on the occasion to have our children play together. All around they are the sweetest people I have ever met. While the person I feel closest to since the move could never file Michaels shoes I feel he runs a pretty close second, someone I can be myself around and trust.
But still this all happened?
I don't understand where it came from to begin with, and the Lexapro overall has made it virtually all disappear.
Up till yesterday. After my episode and my grandmother left my house I grabbed a bite to eat, which seemed to have made the feelings go away.... So was it a panic attack? A sign that my body is getting used to the Lexapro and I need a higher dose? Or could it be that my blood sugar was to Low?
I know this is all one big ramble, and that's the reason I started "Live from Leeanne's Mind" was to express my feelings with my panic, show what it is like to be in my mind.
Maybe it was just a bad day, but it has beena set back- today I do no even want to get out of the bed for anything other than what I have to, maybe depression? Or the feeling of guilt because I had this thing yesterday....
I just don't want to end up where I was last Summer. I don't want to feel the things I felt. And I surely don't want to think the things I thought.
I guess what I have to do is chalk this up as a bump in the road and move forward or it weighing on my mind will bring me down.
ETA: During the Episode I did not Take any Xanax to counteract the ... Whatever it was ... I just let it ride.