Just a Wanderer with a Thought !

I am justA Wanderer with a thoughtNothing’s magnificent about itI throw out my prose at peopleHoping to find someone who might tag alongIt gets lonely walking all aloneWith the burden of wordsMeant for someoneThrown around to everyoneIn dire hopes that someoneMight just accompany meOn this wild, drug infested goose chase
Maybe I have more words with meThan I could ever imagineThe way I cough them outLike the bloodI threw upOver the weekendBut then againThey are never meant for someoneAnyoneAre they?
With the desk lamp glowing dimWith every yank of paper from scribbled notebookCrumpled up and thrown with other rejectsSlaying myself over the perfect pieceTo win you overYou might think they’re just words I wrote upI do that a lot, write stuff upBut it’s pretty different this timeI never sought perfection beforeAnd now, I only want the best for you
But let’s be honestI’m not magnificentI’m not that luckyI’m just a wanderer with a thoughtTrying to settle downWrite for youJust you"Because I know no man is an islandAnd I can’t keep you back"
But you don’t want thatNo one wants thatMaybe it’s my anxietiesIs there something on my face?Maybe it’s just meMaybe I fall for all the wrong peopleMaybe their flaws make me love them moreMaybe I was never meant to loveSome people are never meant to love
I tell myself again and againI was better off as a teenager whoUsed to go through his mother’s medicine cabinetPull out a few Xanax and leave a sorry note behind21 and still consuming Xanax’sYes the doctor prescribed them – 4 years ago, I thinkWhy do I still swallow pills without a care?Because I’m just a wanderer with a thoughtI’ll fade away with my wordsTucked in safely inside my collar
And maybe one dayI’ll give you a binderWith all my piecesLooped with a frayed knotArranged in a messMaybe I’ll get to see you smileAfter the longest of timeMaybe I’ll get to hug youAfter the longest of timeMaybe you’ll throw the binderAway from both of our reach
Maybe this is how I’ll knowMy writing’s worthBut what do I knowI’m just a wanderer with a thoughtWriting my heart outOn parchment, collectedReadKissedSavedThe binderUnder your bedYour favorite bedtime readOr maybeThe source of the fireIn your living room fire place
But I’ll writeTill the sun fades awayKissing the skyLeaving it blushingIn shades of redVioletVanilla twilightAnd the moonlight masks us allI’ll still writeFor youBecause I relish in being forgottenBeing lost into the oblivion.