When I was a child, I often had a hard time falling asleep. As I lay in my bed, I imagined giant wheels inside my head, spinning, spinning, as one thought led to another, then another, then another... Meanwhile, I remained wide awake.
One day, I mentioned this to my best friend. I still remember her answer: "You can't fall asleep because of the Dream Thief." "The Dream Thief?," I asked. "The Dream Thief comes at night. He hides in the dark, and just as you are about to doze off, he shows up and snatches your dream away from you. So your eyes stay open, and your mind keeps racing, because you have lost your dream..." I have always had very interesting girlfriends. I still do.This has been a difficult year for me. A transition time, and many things I took for granted for the last eighteen years are now gone or will disappear soon. Even if some of the changes were, as they say, written on the wind, there was no way to prepare for them, all the while continuing to be a mother, a daughter, a friend, a teacher. So I did my best to keep smiling, and to move forward. As always in my life, I adapted. I started dreaming again.
This has not been an easy ride, but in everything I did, I had one motto...
Most days, I was so exhausted I had no trouble falling asleep. Occasionally, I had dreams. Dreams of a new life, a different life, a happy life, once all the Unpleasantness would be behind us.
One dream involved returning to school for a while to get the teaching certification that would enable me to qualify for a full time teaching position. Even if I have been working for the last fifteen years as a freelance French tutor, this has been a part time job, and it did not pay the big bills. I have been busy raising Junior, or doing the myriad of tasks stay-at-home moms accomplish every day for their family, even if they have no bank account or glorious resume to show for it...
But things have changed now, and I am told I have to be able to support myself.
That is fine. The last eighteen years have not been a vacation. I have been working full days, and long weeks, taking care of others, for free.
Teaching is a wonderful profession. One of the most difficult, yet most rewarding out there. I always knew I would be a teacher. And no matter what position I have held (call it an adult educator, a corporate trainer, a coach,) or what country I have worked in, I have always done just that.
Cameron Diaz (Bad Teacher.)
You see, Cameron is a bad teacher... I am a good one. Or so my students, or the enthusiastic participants of my local travel workshops tell me.Just this week, in fact, I was hired by another community college to start teaching my travel programs in the spring. Every week, I receive a message, a note, or the pat in the back that confirm I am doing a great job as an educator... Even Minerva McGonagall says so...
I know that teaching is the best career choice for me, and one that will enable me to be present for Junior while he still needs me.I have applied for the fastest, most practical, most affordable teacher training program available in this area. Education costs being a big joke in this country, it is still ridiculously expensive. But there is no way around it: A teacher preparation program is the only way to get licensed in WA State. And it costs money. Uncle Sam makes the rules. I don't.
The application process alone is mind-boggling... And there is a deadline: February 1, 2014. Until then, there will be many hours of this...
I need to volunteer at local schools and get recommendation letters. I need to convince the French civil servants at my old schools to retrieve, and forward, 30-year old transcripts to the United States so they can be translated, and validated. Finally, I need to take several tests. English tests. French tests. And a challenging math test. Never mind that as soon as I hear "math," my eyes start glazing over...
But I am ok with it. I can do this AND everything else, because when you have a dream, you work hard, and you make it happen. Not so fast, French Girl!
I had forgotten about the Dream Thief. It seems he has been keeping an eye on me, lurking, and waiting for the right moment to re-enter my life.
The Dream Thief is at it again, trying to take my dream away; making a mockery of my teaching plans, of the years I have spent with my students; calling it a waste of time, a waste of resources. After all, there must be other jobs I could find out there... after an 18-year hiatus...
I should have expected this from the Dream Thief. I believe in staying decent, fair, and classy (always,) so my initial reaction was...
I am not the young girl I once was, Dream Thief. And this could come as a surprise to you, but you do not get to decide.One thing you may not know, Dream Thief, is that as far as I can remember, when others (my parents, or the powers that be,) tried to talk me out of doing something, I always reacted the same way:
First...
Then...
And finally, forging ahead, because the warnings, the obstacles in my path only make me more resolute, more stubborn, stronger...
This has come in handy in the past: I once applied for a full-year scholarship program with the Georgia Rotary Club (a wonderful organization,) so I could live and study in the United States. Nobody believed I could do it (After all, the Georgia Rotary Club awarded only 50 scholarships a year for the entire world!) The application process took months to complete. I was 20. In 1984, I became one of the lucky recipients, moved to Atlanta, and my life has never been the same. Yes, Dream Thief, stop trying to steal my dreams. I suggest you create some of your own. You must have had dreams, once... Live your life, whatever it may be. I am not interested in it. Just let me live mine.
I do not know if I will achieve my dream to become a certified teacher. I am applying for a very competitive program, and my hard work and preparation may not be enough to get me in. But if I fail, it will be on my terms. Knowing me, too, there will be a back up plan.
I do know that I will be fine, no matter what path I choose. I also know life can only get better from here.
As long as there are pretty tulips and daisies, and lovely men to present them...
As long as there are girlfriends, my sisters of choice...
As long as there are French fries and cosmopolitans...
Then I will be fine, and dare I say, happy...alone...
... or not... 
As for you, Dream Thief, I will follow my friends' advice...
The time has come to wish you good luck with your life...
... and bid you farewell...
I will end this story with the help of the great Miranda Priestly: "That's all!"
To my readers: A bientôt!
Afterword:
Thank you to all the creators of the wonderful GIF's I have used in this story.
I would be happy to give you credit if I knew who you were.This story is meant for informational and entertaining purposes only.
Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.
