Social anxiety is a commonly misinterpreted term that is often confused with shyness and introversion. It is one of the most common anxiety disorders in Singapore, and the third largest psychological problem in the United States. Despite this, close to no one talks about it, partially because people don’t realize it exists.
I had social anxiety up till the age of 20 and the truth of the matter is, no one even knew that I did. The one question I never stopped hearing was: “Why are you so shy?” and I never knew the answer to that question myself. I was a kid, I didn’t know about anxiety disorders back then. So when people told me that I was shy, I believed it. But I wasn’t just shy, I was mentally unable to do certain tasks.
It’s not impossible to identify someone with social anxiety. We are just so used to associating every kind of social awkwardness with shyness, we fail to recognize the two are in no way synonymous with each other.
I still hear parents calling their young kids and teens out for being “shy”. And maybe they are just that. But I can’t help but ask myself, what if they were like me. What if their parents, just like mine, have no idea what social anxiety even is. If I could tell those parents anything, if I could tell my parents from back then anything, I would tell them about social anxiety.
Social anxiety is walking down the streets and being afraid that people are watching your every step.
Social anxiety is your heart racing 10 times faster when you hear a telephone ring.
Social anxiety is rehearsing exactly what you have to say before making a call, even if it is just Pizza Hut.
Social anxiety is being unable to answer a question in class despite knowing it, because of the fear of being judged.
Social anxiety is being unable to do something you might usually be good at, because you’re being watched while doing it.
Social anxiety is when you’re the newbie, afraid to ask your colleagues if you can join them for lunch because you don’t want to be a “bother”.
Knowing this, just imagine the amount of mental trauma a person with social anxiety goes through every single day. Imagine then, a world where people understood social anxiety instead of being wilfully ignorant towards it. I wish that someone would have understood my problem. And for all the people suffering from it now, I wish someone understood theirs.
The stigma that follows any kind of anxiety disorder needs to be put to an end, and that can only happen with people starting to learn about it. Let’s stop taking these things lightly. Anxiety disorders should not be treated as any less crucial than other mental disorders.
It is ultimately up to us to start the conversation about social anxiety. Acknowledge it, comprehend it, and let’s start talking about it.
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