Dear JB,
Did you know that the phrase, “Do Not Be Afraid,” occurs in the bible 365 times? Which tells you something about what life is supposed to be like.
Taking risks is probably the only path to spiritual growth. Charting your career is a big part of that. Your work is a significant element of the spiritual growth process.
God’s kingdom is so much bigger than seminary and the mission field and church-planting, but unfortunately you were brainwashed into thinking ministry work is the only “spiritual” vocation that makes God happy. It’s a shame you have to unlearn this on your own rather than from church, but you’ll see.
God cares about your job. He’s right there in it with you, and He is thrilled to see you discovering your gifts, your talents, to see you gaining confidence in yourself.
You are useful to God’s service out there in the sweat and grind of the marketplace. So don’t keep second-guessing your decision about what kind of work you are doing. He is completely wrapped up in the business you are in right now – every call you make, every deal you close, every failure, every rejection. By some mystery, He has brought you here. You are in His grip. And you can rest in that.
Remember this: spiritual growth doesn’t necessarily happen by just showing up at Bible study every week. This job, what you’re going through right now in real life, this will teach you spiritual lessons you never would have learned in any of those high-octane fellowship retreats you used to love, with the wild fervor of worship bands and Christian solidarity and motivational speakers and walk-down-the-aisle commitments. That stuff is easy. Anyone can float on that boat. But what you’ve gotten yourself into now? This is the real deal, buddy, where your spirit skids against the asphalt.
The only way to truly mature is by putting yourself in these situations where you are afraid of screwing up, where you become imperfect and insufficient. That’s how you rise above. That’s a true expression of faith.
Life is more complicated and multifaceted and messier than anyone will ever admit. And it’s all okay. The older you get, the less you are going to find stock answers that give you an absolute black or white, like what you were fed in high school youth group.
The going can be tough, but at the same time, rich. Take a look around you, the way the sticky summer sun breaks through the windows of your tiny apartment, spraying light across the seaweed-green thrift-store couch. See the wedding photograph on the wall, the second-hand TV, the tangle of your legs with hers on the beige carpet floor. You will bask in these memories years from now.
The only thing that’s real, that’s lasting, that’s truly spiritual, is love. Sacrificial love. Everyone talks about it, but it’s quite another thing to grind it out every day without knowing how, figuring it out as you go. That’s what you do when you get up every morning to face the marketplace, walking into the jagged landscape of competition and hustle and pavement. It’s more than just “providing.” More than anything, this is an act of love.
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