In December I was so worried about surviving without all of our stuff. Since we were putting all of our belongings into storage for an unknown amount of time, I struggled with figuring out what we should take and what should be packed away. I wasn't given much choice, as we could only take a suitcase for each of us and a few other items. Over the past month, we have not only "survived" with the small amount of things we brought with us to Ryan's mom's, but we haven't even used it all. This brought up something that has now begun to weigh heavily on my heart - I need to let go of excess.
A week or two ago, I stumbled across this post from a sweet friend of mine. I had seen other mamas posting this "something she wants, something she needs, something to wear, something to read" business all over their instagram feeds before Christmas, but I never bothered to look into what it was. Reading Megan's post further convicted me on what I had been feeling lately.
I am someone who doesn't like clutter. Thankfully, Ryan is the same way. Ironically though, I am also the person who never wants to get rid of a sweater because it's "in perfectly good condition and I'm positive I will NEED it one day". I still have clothes from high school and college. And even though I take really good care of my belongings and use them until they are worn out, I know that a large majority of things in our possession get little to no use. I love what Megan said in her post:
"Life isn’t about accumulating stuff. In fact, the more stuff you have, the more stress you tend to have – more to keep track of, more to keep clean & organized, and more things that can be lost or broken."
Living off of a handful of items over the past month has driven this point home for me. I have been so much less stressed, only being accountable for the things inside our small bedroom. Ryan, Rilynn and I each have a closet or dresser for our personal items - and like I said above, we haven't even used everything that we brought with us.
Being put in a situation where we were forced to live without so many things we thought were "necessary", has shown us that, in reality, we just have an insanely excessive amount of stuff.
I often feel guilty when I try to get rid of something. Sometimes its an item that a well-intentioned relative gave us, but is something we really don't want/need in our home. I imagine the "thought" they put into the purchase, and so instead of giving it away, I put it into a closet telling myself "I'm sure we will find a place for it eventually". Other times I sort through my old clothes and don't want to get rid of extra items because I fear it will give me an excuse to purchase new things.
Let's be honest: The weird statue is still sitting in the closet 5 years later and I haven't put on that pair of jeans since sophomore year of college. I'm not using that stuff! It's just sitting there, taking up space and adding stress every time we pack and unpack our house. On top of that, someone truly in need could be getting use out of these items if we donated them.
When Ryan gets a job and we eventually move into a house, I plan to get rid of all of the things we truly don't need in our home anymore. Then, starting with a clean slate, I really don't want to add excess in the future. I have experienced first hand that we can live off of so much less than I thought possible and I just need to let go of all the extra stuff that I've been hanging on to.
Even greater than this, we want to raise our children in an environment that teaches them that they don't "need everything". I loved the Christmas post above because Megan gave her daughter beautiful and precious gifts - gifts that had meaning and thought behind them - but she was very intentional. She wanted Olivia to focus on the true meaning of Christmas. I am all about celebrating Christmas and giving gifts to our children. Rilynn can believe in Santa and will have a gift from him under the tree every year. But at the same time, I don't want gifts and stuff to be the thing that she looks forward to every year at this holiday - I want her to be excited about the traditions, seeing all of her cousins and relatives, and celebrating the birth of Jesus. This is applicable to our daily lives as well. I want our family to use our money on things that will last - not on accumulating a mass amount of "toys" and items in our home. I will always be grateful that my parents strived to give this to me and my sister. Instead of using extra money on the biggest house or the newest car, my parents took us on trips to see the country. At the time I thought it was dumb and I thought I would appreciate a cell phone more than visiting the Grand Canyon, but now that I am older, I am so glad they did that. The memories I have from those family vacations will last forever.
So my biggest question is this: "How do you successfully accomplish this in the future?" I would love to hear if any of you have suggestions. Ryan and I fear that if we try to explain this to our families, some may not agree or understand and will continue to gift us a bunch of "things", especially when it comes to our children. I would love it if instead of them sending 20 presents for birthdays and Christmas, they would send A gift and put the rest of the money they wanted to spend into a savings account that Rilynn can appreciate down the road. I know when I went to buy my first car, I was so grateful that my grandparents had contributed to a savings account that was opened when I was born.
Have any of you successfully done something like this with your family? Also, I'd love to hear of any ways that you have kept your family in check when it comes to accumulating "stuff"!