I've been meaning to document my recent feelings for a while now but it feels like there just hasn't been the time to. I guess that's a weird thing to say considering we've been mostly at home for what is now ten weeks. But during those ten weeks, we've had both the boys at home with us and so have been trying to juggle looking after them physically and emotionally whilst also trying to home school them and take care of the house, our full-time work and our own mental wellbeings.
The coronavirus lockdown has been SUCH a rollercoaster of emotions. We've had some absolutely lovely days and on those days I feel so thankful to have this extra time together. I've enjoyed the slower pace of life and I've enjoyed not having to feel like I need to be anywhere in particular. I love that we've embraced the simplicity of life and have found so much comfort in things like nature and the things that we already have without feeling like we need to keep adding or do 'more'.
Ethan's birthday was a highlight - of course, we missed having friends and family there to celebrate with, but we proved to ourselves that you can have just as much fun at home altogether if you get creative. It's mostly turned me gray I won't lie, but I've even at times enjoyed the planning of home learning for the boys. When it comes to getting them to do the actual learning, it really has depended on their moods and admittedly some days have been a real struggle, but I've also quite enjoyed some of it.
There have of course been days when I've felt really overwhelmed because I've craved my own space and I've felt anxious from the guilt of trying to juggle it all whilst feeling like I'm struggling to give to everything that needs my attention at once. There have been times I've really missed people and the places that we usually visit and times when the boys have just not been in the mood, as well as times that we haven't either.
This time of our lives has been even more of an emotional rollercoaster than normal and it's certainly one that will make the history books. We've felt incredibly fortunate to have been able to stay safe at home whilst this awful virus has been destroying so many lives. And we have SO much admiration for all of the incredible people who throughout all of this have worked so hard to deliver essential services to keep some sort of normality going.
The highs and lows have naturally felt more intense for most people during this lockdown but what I've seen is that people have mostly really tried to keep positive throughout and find ways to keep positive for themselves and for other people.
Of course, I can't help but feel utter sadness and heartbreak for those who have lost loved ones, friends, family, neighbours and colleagues from coronavirus. Not only sadly gone too soon, but for their loved ones not even able to say goodbye properly. It's heartbreaking to think how impossibly hard this has been for so many people in that situation.
Coronavirus continues to worry me and scare me despite the infection rate and deaths from coronavirus dropping currently. With the lockdown beginning to ease with restrictions in place and with some people returning to work and some children returning to school. I think it's so important to remember how contagious and deadly it is and so to not to become complacent with it.
Children of certain year groups, including Logan's year (reception), have been invited back to school. And I have to admit that I was quite shocked when it was first announced as I hadn't expected children to return until at least September. I also didn't quite (and still don't) understand why reception year have been invited back over other year groups, considering that 4-year-olds don't really understand social distancing like us adults and older children do. But I feel grateful that the government have given us a choice by stating that they won't fine parents if they choose not to send their children back yet. And I also feel fortunate to be in a position where we have been able to make a choice because we both work from home for ourselves.
It's such a personal choice and one that will be different for each family. Each family has different elements to consider and think about and I really just want to send love to everyone with young children whether they are staying at home for longer or whether they are returning to school. It's an emotional time for all.
This virus seemed to come out of nowhere and impact our lives very quickly - some people more than others. It stopped us in our tracks and it will take a while to get back to 'normal', but we will get there. One step at a time.
Thank you for reading. Alex xo
