Diaries Magazine

Light Bulbs

Posted on the 23 March 2016 by Ravenswingthog @ravenswingthog
Light Bulbs
Time moves on, and as it does so does life.
When I was young I fully admit that light bulbs were not a particular speciality of mine, my life being primarily taken up with books featuring the cartoon heroes Tintin and Asterix, but I did think about light bulbs I was aware of three different wattages of light bulb, and two different fittings.  Light bulbs came in either 60w (a little dim for lighting a large room but manageable), 100w, or the stunningly bright 150w.
The fittings were limited to bayonet (which we used exclusively at home) or screw - the first time someone got a desk lamp with a screw fitting it caused some consternation in that we would now need to keep two types of bulb in the cupboard.
Light bulbs failed impressively, with a decent "plink" noise and a bit of a flash, and when removed would make a decent rattling noise when shaken.  They produced a good deal of heat, so when a bulb did die you'd leave it a few minutes before removing it, so as not to burn your fingerprints onto the hot glass.
Now, there appears to be approximately fifty seven different fittings for bulbs, which come in a variety of sizes, types, shapes, and colours.  For all I know they also come equipped with a selection of different smells, perhaps there might be a "bakery" light bulb for the kitchen so that whenever you put the light on it smells of freshly baked bread.
I had to venture into my local hardware store to purchase a bulb earlier this week.  In our bathroom the bulb within the room light fitting (apparently it is called a "bathroom flush" which I thought referred to an entirely different piece of bathroom furniture, but you learn something every day) had gone, and needed replacing.
Investigating (which sounds altogether better than "dropping a piece of a light fitting on my son") I determined that I needed an E27 screw fixing bulb with a wattage of less than 50w (unless it was an energy saving bulb, in which case under no circumstances should 11w be exceeded), but also that it had to be sufficiently small to fit within the light fitting.
In my quest to find a bulb, in the first shop I ended up walking out because I couldn't find a bulb that suited all of my needs, and in the second I bought an entirely unsuitable bulb with a far too high wattage purely because it is described as for "rough service".
Rough service apparently isn't something you might request from a person of the night, but is actually a light bulb which is resistant to external pressures such as vibration.
At any rate, eventually I did find a light bulb that met all of the many requirements stated by my light fitting, and my bathroom is once again illuminated through a ceiling mounted bathroom flush.  So that's alright then.
Finally, I've noticed that Sainbury's has in its advertising suggesting a twist on the traditional Easter Hot Cross Bun by putting some bacon in it - I refer you to this MANEATING episode from last year...


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