Sitting in a training on online media and digital platforms, I wanted to write. I thought I had lot to say, in fact I did a few days back. I wanted to write about the Kabbalah and the use of mysticism in healing. I was exploring the idea and I thought it was very interesting. Some of the methods were called "Talking to god", the mystics used collective experience to deal with the matters of soul and in depth understanding. I wanted to write about it, I thought it is fascinating how everything we do some how relates to being heard, whether it is posting a status on a social network or going to a psychologist or for that matter even dreams are about listening. Dreams probably are a way one's unconscious talks to the sub conscious. If we just do a random poll on what are one's most enjoyable moments, most of the instances people remember are about instances when they were heard. Some people might say going out for a drink with the friend or travelling, all of which on deep dive end up at being heard. If one says travelling, most often than not people refer to meeting new people having conversations, goes back to being heard. All forms of art be it painting, film making, writing, dance, music, theater or any other form, it is all about telling one's story. The existence of an art itself assumes the existence of audience, of a listener. While initially I thought it was a brilliant idea but as I began to write about it I thought it was foolish.
Then I began to read a news site but in this noise of numbers and ppt slides, I couldn't fix my attention on anything. I still wanted to write, I scouted again, rattled my brain for some thing it wants to say but there was no answer. Did my brain die? Did it really die? Probably this is what people mean when they say their brain has shut out. Well, brain doesn't really shut out I thought, but now I think it probably does. On another tangent, if there are no thoughts in one's brain isn't that supposed to be a condition of bliss, some thing people work towards, all these yoga and other methods are all aimed at coming to this state. Have I really reached that most coveted state? That state which Buddha had famously achieved under the bodhi tree, did I just reach it sitting in a board room meeting? Well, I don't really know, but even if that is so I fail to acknowledge.
While the rant goes on, I came to one conclusion, no it is not the state of nirvana but more a state of literary bankruptcy that I have reached