Living My MBA Dream – You Know the Rest

I haven’t been blogging enough, I know. I never do, anyway -no amount is enough when it comes to writing. But there is a reason this time (oh, there is always one, sigh).
I am finally pursuing the most-coveted degree – “the” MBA, something that I had been aiming for since 2010.
MBA probably would have been better if I had joined it directly after school (and by school I mean class X). For in class X, I had this spirit in me who would not allow me to doze off, who was curious enough to read any book it gets hold of – whether it was a textbook or a novel. Adding to this, it also had the enthusiasm to finish the book it picks as soon as possible. And when I write “ASAP”, I don’t mean ASAP in present times, which can practically mean tomorrow or never; in those days, ASAP was by tonight.
These days, I feel I need my blog more than I ever needed it. The frequent (read: insanely over-frequent) desire to escape now haunts me – no doubt, I am finally living The MBA Life.
Every senior or MBA professional I talk to, says the same thing – this is just the beginning, in tones ranging from “abhi toh party shuru huyi hai” to “picture abhi baaki hai mere dost”. I don’t doubt a single word of what they say.
But here’s the glitch that doesn’t allow my mind to accept what I’ve been hearing – over the years I “grew up” enough to believe that I’ll just have fun in my life. MBA life has been fun, indeed. But with great fun, my friend, comes great responsibility. And if you ditch the responsibility, you just need enough courage to bear the consequences.
Again there’s a glitch that doesn’t allow my heart to accept what my mind says – over the years I have learnt to have a lot of fun, not study at all and still grab great marks in the exam. And no matter how overrated marks are, in the end, marks do get you a job when your contacts and not-so-smart personality doesn’t.
So, I could really apply my experience to still have fun here and not slog like my friends and batchmates have been doing. But there’s another glitch that doesn’t allow myself to listen to all that I wrote seconds ago – when I planned to invest so much money in my MBA, I planned to actually learn something out of it (unlike my B.E. days), not worry about the marks I get but come out of it more knowledgeable (“more”? Really, Miss Sunshine?) and awesome.
To summarize:
A month ago, my goals were clear – to have fun and to learn.
At present, I am more worried about the marks I get and the Summer Placement I can grab.
Wow. Things change quickly, don’t they?
Reality Check:
If I were really worried, I wouldn’t really be writing this blog now or killing time the way I always do(which clearly shows in the amount of hard-work I am not doing at all, blaming it to being in my Engineering-mode).
Adding to it, I have developed an aversion from extra-curricular activities unlike my school and college days – I’m not giving interviews and doing tasks to join the various clubs I planned to join before coming to the B-school. Aah, the pain of aging. :-P
So, apparently, the way I am living my life is simple and my goals are clear– there is no clarity, no single goal at all to be focused at. And when you can't be confined by a single goal, you dread being dangerously close to having no goal, at all.
As I go back to my “main pareshaan” mode, all I understand is that I need a little break from the break (like always, ever since I learnt to spell the word ‘break’) I am already taking, to actually know what my goals are – high marks? A good job? Learning? Awful lot of fun? All of it?
Naah. No single thing sounds fun (nor achievable :-P) enough, now. If you have any other goal in mind to be chased during these two years, drop a comment. I am still looking for ideas.
Meanwhile, watch this -