He stared at me from across the table while I sipped on my wine.
“You dress quite provocatively for an Indian girl. Drawing too much attention.”
Neither did I know I walked around with a label, nor did my body scream for attention through my dress.
Bearing a major brunt of imbalance between the genders has been a battle in the society for us Indian girls especially. Male chauvinism as put still rears its head in the community. On one side, praying to, and respecting a female deity today is seemingly empowering and on the other, refusing to acknowledge women as equals is absurd.
Chauvinists aren’t born, they’re bred. They are fed with none other than our own society’s beliefs, religion, and cultural practices. They are ingrained with the simple idea that women deserve a treatment lesser than one allowing for equality simply because they are women – created to be a step lower and not equal.
“People wouldn’t talk pleasantly if they see a girl from our family loitering around too much. It’ll be tough to get a match for you in the future.”
“Your brother is a boy, he can travel and hang out with his friends till late because he’s a boy and he knows how to handle himself.”
This mentality exists in almost every household that has young daughters and sons. Chauvinism starts inside the four walls itself where everyone, boy or girl alike, is made to believe that each gender has a certain set of rules to follow, in order to be proclaimed as either one. Hence, girls are taught how to behave and boys are taught how girls should behave. If they defy odds, they’re simply girls with no shame whatsoever.
“Wow, you are really bold for a girl.”
“Mate, she’s just a girl. Can’t believe you just proved yourself unworthy against a mere girl.”
Blooming next is the chiselling of chauvinism, after these seeds have been planted. When a woman fails to “comply” with the set of “rules given” as per the society, they are seen as girls who have no morals and values. Deep down, it scares them to see a woman who composes her own tune and dances to it instead of agreeing with norm, but they were taught never to be afraid of self-made women. “Fear? She’s just a woman!”
Resentfully enough, a lot of women give in to this mentality. They are made to believe that as wives/partners, a certain ground is already established and there exists proper behavior set in stone in order for them to be loved by the men in their lives. What they fail to realize is that, apart from love itself, their men love them for how tame they are. My dear sister, when you feel like he promises you eternity and happiness, that is when you start needing him for that validity to be in true form. Chauvinists, remember, would only want to be above. Therefore you giving him a pedestal only makes it easier. He deserves you because he is limited to having women who are shadows and not pillars. If he says he doesn’t, it means he doesn’t want you to share his spotlight, a relatively hard pill to swallow.
Try establishing a wrought authority. Bet you won’t because that’s when he starts to react adversely, mostly with emotions to push you back to your spot so he regains his chauvinist crown.
If you promptly take an upper hand, he will dismiss you, and move on with his iron-tough beliefs. Then again, many of us can do it, but won’t because we dread losing our relationships. We fear this loss more than losing our dignity and self-worth.
They say it’s an equal world, but it never will be because chauvinism stems from home and stays rooted due to societal beliefs and pass-downs. Chauvinism will never cease to exist unless we choose to think and implement opinions differently. Well, if you burn your daughters, your sons won’t be able to find wives, will they?
