When I initially started writing this March edition of my monthly roundups, I had begun with listing off everyday things chronologically that were bringing me some positivity throughout the month as a way to lift my spirits and celebrate the little things that were making me happy and bringing me joy. Especially whilst my Grandad was still in hospital after being admitted last month, it felt even more important to be appreciative of what I have, however big or small.
As you will notice when reading further into this post, my Grandad unfortunately passed away this month after years of suffering and battling with Alzheimer's dementia. A devastating loss to my family as he was such a strong presence in all of our lives. I have been through an array of emotions as you can probably imagine and I have mixed feelings of missing him terribly but knowing he's at peace now and not suffering anymore. These mix of feelings is something I can't fully comprehend right now but hopefully in time I will be able to.
With this post, I know it would have been easier to keep this loss to myself but I've learned from past experiences that not acknowledging it can be detrimental to my own wellbeing and I didn't want to repeat my mistakes. Instead I wanted to share this month, not only the everyday trivial life things that make me happy but also share my appreciation for the moments during the initial weeks of my Grandad's passing that kept my spirits up at a time when they were really needed.
Let's start from the beginning:
♡My new, fresh and very cute butterfly print bedding from Skinnydip London. OBSESSED!
♡Games night on the Xbox with my friends Becky, Sarah and Tom playing Overcooked 2. (ad - affiliate link)
♡Being reunited with another gorgeous doggo friend, Orion the Border Collie. Named after Orion's belt because of the markings on his nose <3
♡Freshly cleaned makeup brushes.
♡Treating myself to more flowers. Yellow roses and pink tulips are a gorgeous combination!
♡Weekend strolls with Nina and getting the warmest greeting from her family dog, Sookie.
♡Exploring a new area of my local park with Luna and getting a change of scenery.
♡Made the highest amount of sales on my Depop shop so far this year. Hope this continues!
♡The day I spent house sitting for my Gran whilst she was visiting Grandad in hospital. Being able to have complete alone time and clear my head from all the anxieties I'd been having. And getting to watch Jurassic Park on ITV2 was a bonus! One of my faves <3
♡My Gran being able to visit my Grandad in hospital during the pandemic. Initially she was the only one allowed to visit.
♡Being incredibly grateful to be able to visit my Grandad in hospital during this pandemic and be present at his side before he sadly passed away. Something I will never take for granted. I know others who sadly weren't given the luxury and my heart breaks for them.
♡Being able to offer my Grandad some comfort in his final moments and for him teaching me to be brave in the aftermath of his passing.
♡Beach and park walks with Luna, clearing my head from all the overwhelming feelings after losing my Grandad. Bittersweet feelings of knowing that he's at peace now after all his suffering but missing him so much and wishing he was still here with us.
♡Going through and sorting out my Grandad's gardening equipment in the garage. It helped keep my mind focused, felt good to be helping my Gran out and made me feel connected to my Grandad. Also never seen so many plant pots in my life! There must be thousands in there!
♡The family all coming together safely to plan the funeral arrangements.
♡Feeling incredibly touched by the outpour of kind messages offering their condolences from friends of the family, sharing precious memories of Grandad and sending beautiful bouquets of flowers to show their support to my family and I.
♡Seeing the influx of friends of the family who showed up and stood socially distanced outside of both the church and the crematorium on the day of my Grandad's funeral to pay their respects. An image I will never forget.
♡Despite the current circumstances and restrictions, being able to give my Grandad a lovely send off. My family hopes to host a memorial service when restrictions are lifted so that those who were unable to attend the funeral due to the restriction limit can come pay their respects as well.
♡Managing to keep my head up after tackling these seriously tough couple of weeks. Could not have done it half as well without the love and support of my family and friends <3 Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
(I realize these next few thins are very trivial after my previous paragraphs)
♡Binge watching season 2 of Love Island Australia on ITV Hub. This show has kept me somewhat sane throughout everything going on with it's escapism. Oh how I crave to be abroad in someplace warm right now!
♡Finally buying and building a garment rail from Wilko after toying with the idea for ages. Not sure whether to use it to hold items I'm selling on Depop on it or just use it to hang my coats on, or use it to separate my work clothes from everyday clothes. I still need to have a think about this.
♡Hearing great news after processing all the recent bad news in my personal life. I have been offered a permanent contract at my current workplace! So happy to hear some positive news for a change, thank you universe! <3
♡Starting back at work after spending the last few months on furlough and getting the store prepped for reopening. So happy to be getting back to reality and working again. I can't wait to get back to having some hint of normality that I have been craving for so long.
♡Celebrating my Dad's 60th by having a lowkey night of getting takeaway fish and chips. Although it was the first life event since Grandad passed, we still managed to make sure Dad had a good time and I felt like Grandad was with us in spirit. Most likely watching over us, impeccably dressed in his smartest jacket and saying 'cheers' along with us, whilst holding a pint of John Smiths in his hand.
Thanks for reading! <3
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