Marketing Battles – Part V

(This was written in 1988 for the parting copy of the IIM-Bangalore hostel magazine IIMages as a spoof history of marketing management. Needless to say, the fictional company and characters do not intend to describe anyone in the real world and, if any existing company or person is mentioned, there is certainly no intent to state that the actions and motives ascribed to them are in any way the truth This was written in an era where the internet was not even a blip on the horizon and TV was a relative newcomer to the world. Furthermore, it is set in an era when even TV was barely a blip on the horizon.)
Click here for Part I
The dog shows were quite good in their own way in stimulating indirect demand. Z, however, was not content. Dog shows were all very well in the countryside but towns and cities did not seem to take to dog shows with the same sort of enthusiasm. Bewailing the multitudinous distractions of city life, which diverted human beings into trivial pursuits instead of the all important one of competing in dog shows, Z resorted to advertising. “Dogs are a man’s best friend”, proclaimed one hoarding to the passers-by. “Dogs may bark and dogs may bite but dogs do not back-bite” was the wonderful message that greeted the country’s leaders as they exited the Houses, where they did their back-biting. A lonely loveable dog looked yearningly down on school-children saying, “Don’t you love me?” Magazines were so replete with tales of dogs saving humans from sundry disasters that dog-less humans went in fear of their lives due to the lack of such intrepid protectors. There was even a strong rumor that Walt Disney got his start from Z. The tale went that Walt was asked by Z to make dog movies. Unfortunately, Walt took a holistic view of the issue and spread his wings over all fauna and flora earning the impotent anger of Z. Such was the impact of Z on those days that anything that even had a dog remotely associated with it was said to have originated from him. There were even sotto voce comments that thanked God for not associating Jesus Christ with any dog! Society had taken dogs so much to its bosom that anyone without a pet dog was treated as an anti-social element and walked the streets in danger of being lynched. Every household revolved around the dog to such an extent that the sight of over-fed wheezing canines had become a common sight. The demand for dogs had so far outstripped supply that dog breeders had sprung up everywhere, as if from the earth, and were spoken of in the hushed tones that were, hitherto, reserved for matinee idols. Not a single un-owned canine could walk the streets in safety without a pack of would-be owners baying at its heels. Dog licensing authorities went on strike for more pay citing over-work as a reason and were promptly conciliated. A whole new chapter had opened in crime with dog-napping and dog theft increasing by the day. The demand for separate police stations in each locality to attend to dog-related cases was promptly acceded to by the government. The DGP(Dogs) was the most powerful policeman in any locality. One such DGP became a folk-hero for his dictum “Set a dog to catch a dog” which created the first ever dog squad. The corridors of police headquarters were abuzz with rumors that, in a decade, the head policeman would likely be a dog. Elsewhere in Society, things became even more difficult for the chaps without dogs. People with allergic reactions to dog hairs were accused of being devils and there were strong rumors that the government was considering the revival of the hallowed practice of witch-burning to handle such cases. On the more mundane level, no hostess would invite you to a party if you came without a dog. Travelers were faced with hotels that had put up boards saying “No dog, No Welcome”. Dogophilia was rampant in Society.
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