I keep writing these words
and everytime i try to send
my fingers find the ‘back’ button far too enticing..
the little cursor finds the box with a cross a temptress
…highlighted, the words all vanish with a quick tap of any key
so why can’t i just beg for more?
why is my head too stubborn to let my heart win this one time?
maybe it’s because i heard that song hoping you’d arrive and save me from the truth that was flirting with my drunk mind
maybe it’s because you never really met me halfway or further than that…
and yes – it was too much to ask of you.
i keep deleting your number – only to add it back into my phone a moment later
i keep thinking it’s time to call
to see how you are
my heart is almost as stubborn… she won’t let go of this, and slowly she’s trying to convince the rest of me to ask you one simple question
my head won’t be so foolish
i just need to hold on to what i know
and obviously it’s not your mind
it’s not your heart
it’s not the soul i saw in your eyes
or the hope your smile gave me
it’s not in your kiss
it’s not anymore a part of me
i’m going back to that person i know best
the one that didn’t let you in for such a long time
the person who kept finding flaws in you
the person who found all the right words to hurt you
the person who was strong enough to turn you away
maybe then
you’ll remember
and
i’ll just forget you
