I'm now 7 weeks in to my role as 'Mum' and as I've said many many times - gosh do I love it. A way of life unlocked for me that I never knew existed, or I did.. but I just had no idea of how good that way of life would be.
I feel I am totally embracing life as Mum, it's consuming but it's happiness, it's a happy type of consume.. But even the happy types can sometimes be too much. Things in life, even the good things, need to be taken in moderation. Being a parent is intense, exhausting, it can be straining on a relationship and on yourself, I've learnt these things. Do I always know what to do about it? No. I'm learning, I'm new to this but I'm pretty sure that this one is a lifelong learning game.
Last night my Husband and I decided to take some 'us' time, just me and him doing whatever we wanted to do just for a couple of hours. Ethan was looked after by his Grandparents and Adam and I decided to head into town for an Italian meal and a trip to the cinema to watch The Hangover 3 {Which by the way is HILARIOUS!}. It was a little difficult to leave Ethan of course, but easier than I'd imagined it to be. This was because I knew he was in safe good hands, I knew he had everything he needed, I knew he'd be okay, and most importantly I knew {or I hoped} I'd come back totally recharged and utterly thankful to be able to come back to my gorgeous baby but still be able to have a little 'Alex' time. Obviously Ethan kept creeping into both of heads during the course of the evening, 'You reckon he's okay?' we'd ask each other knowing full well he was fine. I even made Adam check his phone in the middle of the film because I had a random moment of panic and wanted him to 'double check' that he hadn't received a text or had a missed call. But all was fine. Just like I knew it would be.
I laughed so hard watching the film and Adam and I giggled like children at the restaurant, it was so nice to have that time together. We ate a hot meal together and watched a film without pausing it 10 times and I realised something.. I realised that I wasn't just 'Mum'. I realised that I'd allowed myself to just become 'Mum' entirely rather than keep any of me back as 'Alex' {as I'm sure a lot of other Mums do}. But in doing so I was exhausting myself and most importantly putting a strain on my relationship with Adam. Relationships don't run on empty and after 10 and half years of just 'us' doing whatever we wanted to do whenever we wanted to do it - it's hasn't been the easiest to just adjust to life with a baby and having a third person in our lives even if he is the best thing that's ever happened to us.
I've woken up this morning feeling so recharged. Recharged as 'Alex'... which I believe allows me to be a better Mum, Wife and all round person. As parents we learn from the second our baby is born that he/she comes first, they just have to, they rely on us completely and as parents we embrace this, we love our babies with the whole of our hearts and we never want to let them out of our sight. But we should never forget that we too have needs, our Husbands/Wives also need our love and attention, and we need to look after ourselves, because just as relationships don't run on empty .. neither do we.
Alex xoFacebook | Twitter | Instagram
