Meeting the Family

I have been dating a lovely lady for quite a while now. I am enjoying the moments when I am with her.

One Saturday morning after a great night together, we were rudely awakened by the phone. I understand from the Spanish that was being mumbled, that it was her family and so I went back to sleep. A while later, I was awakened by my bed partner, not Lassie. She was showering me with kisses. Who am I to complain? And then her hand reached out to my private area. <bleep> <bleep>. While down there and in between kisses and others, Sharon says, “We are going to visit my family for lunch!” Meeting the family? Warning! Warning! Warning!

What was I to say? We will do whatever you want, just don’t stop? Or shall I pull my private part away from her and just say “No!”

In retrospect, I have no idea what I answered but I found myself on my way to lunch with her family. One Bigfoot against the mighty 30. Uncles, aunties, grandparent, nieces, nephews and a Bigfoot. One wrong word and who knows what will happen to me. Maybe I will be a Bigfoot on a skewer? Kill Me Now!

As a former soldier I am used to going into the enemy zone where I am outnumbered and out-gunned with little to survive on but my instincts, flawed as they are.

So what are the rules of engagement with the enemy? I guess when you are outnumbered, it is best not to have an argument or disagree with anything. I think that you need to abide by this rule: “It is better to be silent and for them to think of you as an idiot, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt!”

I am sure I got out of the skirmish alive since I am writing these words and to the best of my knowledge I am not a prisoner, until the next time she wants me to do something that I do not want to do.

This was originally published on my other blog, the SinglesWarehouse. Read the original here.