I am having one of those days. It is weird as I have a lot of exciting stuff going on at the moment and with the exception of horrendous teething the twins are doing great...but still, even though all of that is fantastic, I have a niggly little feeling in the pit of my stomach that something isn't quite right.
I am tempted to put it down to lack of sleep, or at least lack of quality sleep - as the last few nights when I have slept, I have been plagued by uncomfortable nightmares. I am also tempted to put it down to the pressure of my endeavors I really feel like I need to succeed and I am putting everything into what I am doing, but if I fall flat on my face and fail (apart from the fact that it is all good experience) it will be a wee bit (okay, massively) soul crushing.
The people close to me are being great though and they all have total faith in me - and for the most part I do too. I think I am just having a bit of a wobble for a couple of days. Which is not helped by the odd person being a little bit passive aggressive along with the fact that I am having a total 'Woody Allen' moment, coupled with an entire lack of sleep and also that I have forgotten to eat brekkie or lunch the last 2 days... I am guessing that can't be good either. In actuality, it is probably a little bit of all of the above just making me feel like this (as in - I only have myself to blame).
Like I said, sometimes days like this happen and a kind of funk settles over you, hiding reason and sanity from view and from reach. If I was in a boat right now, I would be radioing in a May Day request.
...Oh dear, the above was a bit whiny and I apologize. But it is good to get it out and I know everyone has days like this. So don't judge too harshly.
Right I am off to attempt sleep, so that I can wake up bright as a button and enjoy a day of smiles and giggles with River and Indigo tomorrow.
I am one part Bear with a sore head, and
one part Bear who needs to go hide and hibernate...
and actually all parts
mummy that just needs to get it the hell together!