Memoirs of Love

Looking at the title one must be wondering it must be one of those mushy romantic tales, let me caution you right here. It is not. Then is it one of those morbid tales? No not even that.
I have a story to tell. One may ask who this I is. I is a very random way of defining oneself, one may say. Tell us something, your name, gender, religion, nationality, region any of those things which can help us draw a sketch. All these are of no consequence, not in this story. It is a rare one.
Don't you have a partner, may be not those emotional kinds but you must have been attracted to the opposite/same sex sometime? Someone asked me.
It was considered fashionable to go to one of those All boys/ All girls schools. I went to one of those. Let us call it a same sex school. I was there when puberty stuck. It is funny how we talk about it as if it is some disease.
Memory is funny, it only remembers some snippets of the past and presents them as if they were individual events which had no before or after. Such is my memory of the first time I felt the need to like someone. Was it a need? Yes it was, that's what my memory throws up. Suddenly all my friends seemed to "like" one of our classmates and started expressing it aloud. It was fashionable to like someone. "Who do you like?" I was asked. Sometimes I evaded the question, but then I had to think of someone I liked. I found some one who was a little different from the lot and fixed that I would like her/him (No this story doesn't have gender).
What happened then? Well nothing. Life is not a two and half hour film that everything happens at such immediate pace. Most of the times nothing happens. Well this could be counted as the first same sex crush/like/love/lust/attraction or one of them. (Well I still can't differentiate between the lot). No the first doesn't refer to the person, it refers to the experience. As far as the question of individuals goes, I'm sure there were many at the same time.
Almost at the same time, in a parallel universe I came to know of a person from the opposite sex, well she/he spoke intelligently. I liked speaking to her/him. Now in hindsight probably this could be called one of those. A year passed and I knew another person from the opposite sex who I got interested in.  And yes it happened in the same space as my same sex one.
Well then the story takes a boring turn, (yes in the hindsight) I went to college. This is what happens everywhere in the world. I was much behind my peers in terms of one of those long list of things that I have been talking about. The nerd in me had won the battle and life had become much less happening. I did like/love/lust/get attracted to some opposite sex people but they were all for a fleeting moment. While I had remained the same, the world around seemed to have changed drastically. These weird things called rumors had come into the life. While a few years back it was a thing of pride to like/love/lust/get attracted to someone now it had transformed into something secretive, something one gets to hear in rumors. The world had began putting certain frames on the same thing just in the matter of few years. A few years back there were multiple stories happening at once, now suddenly all was changed.
As life progressed the world around me got divided into several shades, some who said they loved, some who said they were in for lust, there were now definitions for everything, boundaries were quite clearly defined. Now there were also boundaries based on who one liked/loved/lusted, based on whether it was same sex, opposite sex or anything other. Yes, there were categories for everything.
What happened next? Well nothing, as I have already said it is not a two and half hour movie that things happen at an extraordinary pace, nor is it necessary to have an ending. Most of the time the story continues, I continued to live but a little more confused as to which box should I fit myself into. Into one of those who would love and live, into one of those who would die in the name of love, into one of those who vote for lust or one of those who are not interested and so on, there are many such categories. I still have to figure which box I should fit into.