8. Wear nice boxers/briefs because you'll never live it down if you split your pants and your crew sees your 'Elmer Fudd' gitch back at the station.
9. Don't take pictures while on scene. Most times, the images will be burned into your mind and forgetting is something that doesn't come easy anyways.
10. We will be met at the door by someone naked, and it will be by the people we do not want to see in their birthday suits. This is a great time to practice your poker face. Or, have your cell phone camera ready for your crew's face when they get the first glimpse of 80+ nakedness. (Just joking... don't take pictures, refer to # 9.)
11. Emergency calls will randomly come in all at once!!!
12. Don't try and hide. When the tones go off at the station, you'll hear them loud and clear. (Remember to wipe and wash hands before exiting said hiding place.)
13. Push Narcan slowly or they WILL puke on you. Also, to go along with that, the crack/heroin/whatever-head's life who you just saved by pushing said Narcan will be pissed and probably combative over the fact that you just ruined their high. (Learn to dodge flying objects, including fists.)
14. We deal with a lot of assholes!!! I find it quite acceptable to point out that although I am the son-uva-bitch that is taking their blood pressure and vitals and threatening to have them strapped down for both of our protection, they are the ones that have soiled themselves because they're drunk again and being belligerent.
15. No matter how bad the politics get... how over worked, under staffed or under funded we are... the doors go up and our trucks/units roll out. ALWAYS.
It's a great job. Would love to write a book about all I have seen and done.
