"Boys are lovely...but the bond is never quite as close as with a girl, is it?"....
"When they grow up, boys leave their families behind, it's about the womans family...that's why I'd rather have a daughter..."
"You'll never get to be Mother Of The Bride, though..."
"A son can't be your best friend like a daughter can..."
These are just a handful of the many many negative comments I've received since having my first baby boy...and of course when my second baby boy was born I heard them all over again, and they became even more frequent and even more insulting...as I discussed in my post "A house full of boys" the derogatory remarks and assumptions based on their sex were both plentiful and astounding...
It's very easy to dismiss these remarks in theory and in words, but they're very much the kind of comment that stays with you....or at least they stayed with me. And they wormed their way into my mind very easily, and stayed there festering away ever since.
Were people right? Would my boys grow up only to abandon me in favour of their future partners families? Would I be cast out and uninvolved in any weddings that may be in their futures? Would I be missing out on that illusive "best friend" relationship?
It's so easy to tell a mother to be that either sex is a blessing, but when you are surrounded by people who constantly bombard you with statements like the ones above...it's nigh on impossible not to let them worry you...especially when you're somebody like me who has no previous boys anywhere in the family...I had no comparisons to draw anywhere, no examples I could look upon for positive experiences... Mother /Daughter relationships were all around me but I knew no mothers & sons well.
I confided all of my fears and worries in my partner, and of course he reassured me from a male perspective of how much boys adore their mothers, how close they can be to them, how untrue these statements were...
But in the end, it was something I simply had to learn for myself.
And learn I did.
My eldest son is 2 and a half years old now, and I can confirm that the above statements are a load of crap.
My little boy, who is less "slugs & snails" than the majority of girls I know actually!...who is delicate, gentile and caring - is already my best friend.
He tells me that every single day...as he snuggles up next to me on the sofa, and asks if we can have "cuddles and chat time"...as he sits beside me in the mornings and asks to help me put on my makeup...as he helps his Daddy to catch the spiders and the bugs that I hate so much and tells me with concern "Don't worry about the spiders Mummy, we'll catch them away for you"...
I don't know what the future holds...Who knows if there'll be weddings in it for him, if there'll be a girl in it or if he'll choose a different path in life, nothing is guaranteed...so why should I worry?
I have my own little hero, already trying to protect me at his tender age...
I have my little shadow beside me, interested in everything I'm doing and wanting to be part of it whether it's stereotypically "for boys" or not...
I have a best friend in my child...
I have my beautiful, gentle soul of a son...two of them now in fact!!
How lucky am I?
And if I'm blessed with future sons, then God give me the strength and eloquence to better deal with the small-minded people who love to try to rain on that parade...
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