My Face Vs an Air Fryer (and Other Kitchen Appliance Commentary)

We have a Tefal Actifry air fryer, and let me tell you, they're pretty good.  If you're not familiar with what one of these things is for, basically you fill it with a load of uncooked chips or potato wedges, pour in a big spoon of oil, close the lid, turn it on, and 35 minutes later you have chips/wedges to eat.  Because they've been cooked in only a little bit of oil they're (relatively) healthy, and pretty tasty.  You can lob in herbs too when cooking (although if you do it does make cleaning a bit harder) and apparently they'll also cook other stuff like sausages - although we haven't dared try.
However, two issues with our Actifry:
One - cleaning them isn't easy.  Basically, it is not going to be spotless, and you will end up with bits of it covered in a layer of hardened oil.  The sooner you accept this and stop trying to carve away the oil with whatever blade comes to hand, the better.
And secondly, we store ours on top of a cupboard in the kitchen.  Our kitchen is fairly small, and we have limited options for storage.  So, it is kept about six and a half foot high, so just barely reachable.
Now, the weight distribution of the Actifry isn't even - it's roughly a circular shape, with most of the weight at one side, where the engine is located.  So if you're not careful, it can take a tumble when lifting it down.
The first time it fell, I had to go and buy various spare parts to replace the bits that broke.  So this time, I decided to cushion its fall, by placing my face in the way.
I don't have anything against my face.  It does what faces are designed to do e.g. hold in the eye balls, stop blood from falling all over the place, that kind of thing.  But you could have mistaken me for having some slightly odd fetish as I willingly took an Actifry, powered by gravity, to the face.  Ouch.
And I haven't finished ranting about kitchen tools.
Earlier this week my toaster died.  It was a Breville toaster, and it had blue LED lights that came on when it was toasting (it looked a little bit like this one).  I'd had it for about eight years (ever since I first moved out of my parents) and it was a decent toaster.  I liked the cool lights, and you can't help but understand the intricacies of a toaster over an extended period of time.
When activating it from cold, number five was ideal for a good piece of toast.  When, however, doing more toast, you were better advised to go for number three (or even two) to prevent the smoke alarm bursting into life.
I bought a new toaster online, and it's a supermarket brand one.  It looked reasonable in the picture, but now I have it, it feels cheap, it doesn't light up (so it isn't obvious that it's actually heating your bread up) and it toasts approximately 80% of the bread, leaving two edges undone.  And of course, it isn't sufficiently poor for me to warrant buying a new one, so I have to hope that it will fail at some point so that I can buy a new, better, toaster.
Fortunately though, again due to the size of the kitchen, the toaster is kept in a cupboard about six foot high (in fact just under the Actifry) so with any luck one morning it will accidentally fall out of the cupboard.
By the way, I made a picture meme thingy.  Feel free to share.