My Journey with Lexapro- Weeks 1 & 2

This post is intended to track my journey and experience with the anti-depressant Lexapro. It's my believe that people should be aware of how the drugs effect other people, both good and bad. Keep in mind that my experience will be different from yours are because not every antidepressent works right for everyone, just as our anxiety differs from each others. I am not a doctor and do not claim to be, again I am just a patient taking this journey and wanting to share my information with you in hopes that it may help you. I ask that you please not judge me as I am truely opening up my mind for you all to see what I am experiencing. Right now I plan to be more open with the internet than I am with my own family and will hold nothing back. To most I am "OK" here you will see what I truely feel on a daily basis in as much detail as I can give you. I apologize that the first 4 days are not in detail because I didnt plan on doing this until day 5. Thank you for reading and I hope this can benifit you in some way.
Day 1: (10.2.11)
A little bit jittery, had some minor chest pains. Overall not much different than usual. When it was tome for bed however I was completely knocked out. Not always a bad thing though.
Day 2: (10.3.11)
Great day. No side effects.
Day 3: (10.4.11)
Another good day. No side effects & even had company over with no sign of my "friend" panic. It was an eerie calm kinda day. I say Eerie because I am not used to feeling no panic.
Day 4: (10.5.11)
Very tired day, had company over & was having short spurts of heart palps. Was still able to function.
Day 5: (10.6.11)
Had trouble sleeping, tossed & turned most of the night. Woke up with panic attacks, had episode where I felt like I was going to faint. Headache on Right side of head with pressure above right eye- short stabbing like pains from temple to behind ear. Tired, but not sure if thats just the effects of 2 kids. Took a short walk into the backyard, felt like I was going to faint. Have a tingling crawling feeling on my scalp.
Day 6: (10.7.11)
Another night of troublesum sleep. Another panic attack awakening, to add to this I also made 4 trips to the bathroom & its only 6:45 am. I have been putting off taking my Xanax but it looks like I will be taking one this morning. I will also be starting my higher dose today, I was supposed to do a week on 2.5 mg then up to 5 but from what I hear a dose change starts you back at ground zero with side effects & such so I would rather just get it out of the way now while I can & hope that it will get better. I am also anticipating two different upcoming social events which may in part be why my day started rough.
8:30 am: Took my whole pill at 7:30, I am having a feeling of unbalance, or dizziness maybe... I have not taken my Xanax because I am already pretty tired from the Lex (which is new as of today)
I have to keep telling myself it will get better & that it is just the medicine... I was the same way with the startup of paxil & I survived both getting on & off of it, but I know my anxiety is getting the best of me. I have to keep moving forward.
10 am: I am feeling better, not nearly as distrought as before, so I will caulk that up to a panic attack from upping my dose. Still having headaches, I would say its more of an annoyance than painful. Also I would classify it as "Ice Pick" headaches rather than a migraine type.
3:50 pm: Off balance, sensitive to light. Had company over (unexpected) & suprisingly reacted well. Still have the headaches & dont really feel myself which I am unsure if its a good or bad thing at this point, I also felt this way in the beginning of Paxil as well.
9:52 pm: Everyone just went home & I survived my social event. With minor panic which I was quickly able to counteract & stop from escalading.
Day 7: (10.8.11)
Day 2 @5 mg- took it a half hour earlier today & went back to sleep for about 30 mins., I am not in complete panic at the moment but definitely dont feel right. Very tired, which could be from having company last night & feeling pretty weak, a gallon of milk felt like it weighed a hundred pounds this morning. I am starting to develop a "love hate" relationship with the Lex, but I have to give it a fair trial period. Even tho somedays I feel like it wont work, I really hope it does for the sake of my family. My children are what pushes me forward everyday to take the meds. I have to get better for them, so they can enjoy a normal life. I dont want them to experience life the way I have & I will do whatever it takes to make them happy because I love them more than anything.
12:47 pm: Feeling kind of relieved. Again with the eerie calm expression, although my panic has turned its ugly head in here and there today. I also have a feeling of an empty stomach, like its a bottomless pit of sort. Which could turn into about 15 lbs if it doesnt go away. Also very tired still.
Day 8: (10.9.11)
 Bad nights sleep, woke up at 1, 3 & 5. Dont really know how to explain how I am feeling today... Empty... Literally, my body feels like there is nothing inside- my head feels like its not real. My face feels flushed, like sunburn feeling maybe... When I am standing on the ground it doesnt feel solid, my eyelids are twitching, & I feel like I should just sleep this day away. But I cant. There is lots to do today. Its one of those "i dont know whats going on" days, maybe its a panic attack that just feels different, wouldnt be the first time its turned its ugly head in in a mysterious way. I seriously hope today get better. 12 am (technically day 9) the day went much better than expected to be, miniscule problems or panic but still had moments, it seems as tho most of my problems.are in the AM. Hmmmm.... Alter dose to bedtime & try?
Day 9: (10.10.11)
Urgh. I dont even know where to start- another bad nights sleep. Tossing & Turning. Woke up this morning in a puddle of sweat, talk about gross. Worse part is I didnt even sleep with a blanket on. I felt extremely hot, like if I left the oven on overnight with the door open hot. But its only 73° in my house. I also had such horrible indegestion that I was leaning over the porcelion throne chucking my stomach for a good 10 mins. Now I cant say this is a result of the Lex but I told yous I would explain how I feel everyday in detail. Tho the night sweating has never been an issue prior to starting SSRIs so that one I will give to the Lexapro. Trouble sleeping really isnt anything new (although when I was on the Paxil sleep was not an issue at all!) & The indegestion I believe is to the BBQ we had yesterday- one to many peices of sausage is my guess. Took my meds 10 mins ago, now just gotta pray I hold it down.
2:00 PM-- Another one of those "Dont know how to describe it" type days, I just feel weird, unreal. Maybe depersonalization- or derealization type thing. Dont know. I just hope that soon I get that "its like someone flipped a lightswitch" feeling that so many people have said happen to then. I know I am only 9 days in and it could take weeks but I dont know if the anxiety or the medicine is worse. Could it still be the start up effects that I am feeling because I changed the dose? Or is it that this is how I am going to feel.... Right now- I would rather take the Anxiety then this. I just dont know what the hell I am going to do now- Still 7 days left before I see my Dr. again, soooo maybe just suck it up till then. I only feel like I am going to die a few times a day now- better than all day I guess. 5:40. Again Night seems to be my best time, or I should say the evening being overnights have not been all that swell the last couple nights. I think tonight I will (maybe) be taking a xanax & see if it will help me sleep thru the night. I have ambien but I believe somewhere I read that I cant take Lex with it. So I will stay away from that. I am also going to start a One-a-Day vitamin since my food.consumption is the furthest from healthy.
11:45 pm: after another up & down day it ended nicely, got out of the house, no panic & spent.3 hrs out. Good Night. Usually I would make excuses to no go out, but this time I didnt even put up a fight. Maybe it is starting to work :o)
Day 10: (10.11.11)<