It's Monday morning. In my opinion, there's no better time just to let the true, honest, real life stuff all out!
It's also 6:30am and I've been up for 45 minutes already. The only thing that was saving me was the thought of making a huge glass of iced coffee. I pulled my big, double insulated Tervis knock off out of the cabinet and put it under the ice machine to fill it with crushed ice. Only, instead of lots of crushed ice coming out...nothing did. That would be the 3rd time this fridge has had issues since we moved in 8 1/2 months ago and of course it would be on a day when I have 6 other people coming to my house for a play date. Could I rock it old style and fill some ice trays with up? Of course. But I'd rather just complain and realize how spoiled I am.
Life right now is flashing before my eyes, but at the same time, some days seem to drag on like years. Especially those days when Caleb keeps accidentally waking Lorelei up as soon as she drifts off to sleep. He's like a walking bomb. I never know when he will randomly scream or yell...for no apparent reason. We have talked to him about trying to be aware of how loud he is being, but he's three and he has way too much energy. I also know that 90% of the time he doesn't do it on purpose because as soon as he yells something like "Pooooooooopy Head!!!!!!!!!!!" as loud as he can, he immediately looks at me and says, "Sorry sorry sorry!" because he realizes he was way too loud, and at the point the loudness way over takes the fact that he's using potty language. You mama's of 2, 3, and 4 year olds, don't even pretend like yours doesn't love to get a good "pooooooopy head!!!!" yell out every now and then. I'm figuring it's something equivalent to when I lock myself in the bathroom every now and then and scream really loud. It's quite liberating actually.
Leaving the house is literally like an excursion. Getting everyone dressed, fighting with Caleb about his shoes, making sure Lorelei is nice and full, clean clothes and diaper on. Not to mention all the back up equipment that you have to carry around with you, because you obviously have to be prepared for any and every possible catastrophe. As though once we leave our house, we aren't allowed back in. That's the kind of mentality us mom's have when we are packing a diaper bag.
Then there's the decision of "Single or double stroller?". Or I should really call them, "Big pain or Biggest Pain?". I usually get us all out the door, buckled in the car only to realize it's noon and no one has eaten lunch. That's when it comes in handy to have a McDonald's within a 1/2 mile. That way I can get all of us lunch and as I finish my cheeseburger, I'll feel like throwing it back up and I'll swear off McDonald's for the millionth time.
Even just staying at home is overwhelming sometimes. I feel as though Lorelei and Caleb collaborate when I leave the room. I imagine the conversation goes something like this, "Hey Lorelei, Mama looks a little too well rested today. This is a great day for both of us to be on our absolute worst behavior, okay??? Don't give in no matter how hard she cries...or yells!!!"
Let me just tell you, by the time 6pm rolls around, the sound of the garage door opening and Seth's car pulling in is the like a choir of Angel's singing!
This is my real life.
I love my family, I really really do.
I'm trying to enjoy this sweet, little stage of my life and I have lots of moments where I do. I love sitting with Caleb and talking to him about all that crazy, imaginative stuff rolling around in his head. I love holding Lorelei on my chest while she sleeps and seeing her first smiles. I love being a stay at home mom and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I love my husband and how hard he is trying right now to make life easier for all of us and I love that he decided to PT on his lunch break so he could stay later in the mornings and help me get my morning started right, which usually means he feeds Caleb breakfast while I feed Lorelei, and that is a huge help every morning. I love that God somehow found it in Him to bless me with two beautiful children and He is trusting me to teach them to be servants of Christ. What a huge responsibility that is on it's own!
I also feel bad for not being able to do as much as I did before with all the friends God has placed in mylife, but I know that my family is most important, so if that means I have to say no more times than yes, than I'm ok with that.
Life isn't perfect. This is a super crazy time of life right now and I am trying to survive at the same time I'm trying to figure out this new 2 kid life! It's taking longer than I expected but we are making it, one dirty diaper, one temper tantrum, and lots of prayers at a time ;-)
Anyone feel like me some days?
Happy Monday!