As one of my new projects, I have begun to tailor life stories. I love to hear how people made it OVER…THROUGH and AROUND struggle. This is one of my interviews of which I am VERY proud.. it’s just the beginning of something very amazing you will see A LOT more of , this year.
So.. I met LaVada in a circle of women that helps motivate and keeps me spiritually connected to myself and my purpose. I knew when I moved to Tulsa, I needed that, and this woman, here… well, she is just deep. She opens her mouth to speak and everyone listens. I have always believed that when you openly share, you bless someone else. I suppose what blesses me most about this woman, is her sense of transparency about life and all that it embodies through struggle. After all, that what my book is about. So , in essence, I was connected to LaVada, even before we started speaking. When we opened our mouths and shared in the group, we just seemed to knit together through common experiences and common speech. (Hmm…maybe we are from the same tribe!)
Women are made to bond through struggle. If you don’t share your story, you may not know there’s another sister out there who can help you feel as if you are not alone, and help to heal your pain. What I have found with LaVada, is she makes that very transparent, and she helps you to see you are an overcomer though how she interprets your story.
When I asked her to do this interview, I was surprised she said yes, but then I wasn’t. She is a storyteller, and story tellers are healers. In fact, most of the women I asked to do this Red Sea Courage Series, are storytellers.
So here’s Ms LaVada. Enjoy her interview.
Who are you?
I AM champion and she has overcome.
My name means Purifier.
“I AM a mother, an employee, a servant of God, a survivor, a friend and a champion. I am a champion with encouraging and motivating others. I have overcome. several things in life, like depression and abuse and I have overcome several things because of my faith in God.”
My overcoming spirit comes from God as my source.
People he has sent into my life have been those packages of personal encouragement and actions and love and kindness.
I was not always open to the love and encouragement, I absolutely resisted it at first. I fought it and rejected it, until I understood why it was being done. I realized it was an antidote - to was necessary, the answer to my being well . I was tired on several levels of going through the same things. I wanted change, but when it came, I resisted it.
I am NOT :
- A baby mama.
- I am not a one to be used as a “past time”. ( I have had relationships with men, where I was used as a past time. Someone to fill a VOID, temporarily.)
- I am not a FAILURE.
- I am not a lost cause.
- As a woman, what do you need to HEAR in life more than anything else?
I need to hear I matter. ( I am not a mistake.)
I need to hear: I am necessary – this affirms me. I am an overcomer. I believe it’s two-fold:
I don’t need it hear it much from other people as much as I need to be it. I need this to be (an overcomer) in action.
How do you practice authenticity, in your life? Authenticity is defined as : Genuineness . (accuracy, correctness, credibility, dependability, factualness, legitimacy, purity,realness, reliability, trustworthiness, truthfulness, validity, veritableness)
“I absolutely find it necessary to practice this, because it ‘s the meaning of my name, Lavada – Purify. In the past I have been a people-pleaser or because someone said something about me, and mocked me, that I actually was I would be come upset. As I spend time with God who made me, I embody what He has planned for me to be. Who I am around, and decide to be around, those people can also be a product my authenticity, If I allow myself to be around them it’s going to impact me. If you do something to hurt yourself, and you are my friends and I love you, you hurt me.
Where’s your leverage? What do you know, have or own or perhaps represent – that others may not have?
My personality is my leverage. I am a leader on a team at work, and they call me “The Moti-Vada.” ( Motivator.) My team at work, named me and people say when I speak to them, I uplift and encourage them. I love inspiring others. It’s my primary life language: I am an INFLUENCER. I can do it in my sleep. I have yet to meet someone that motivates the way I do. I can emphasize on so many levels, because I have been through so much.
How do you describe the way you motivate?
One of the things I ask for is for God’s compassionate nature when I motivate Lord, Give me your nature.
Whatever they are going through, I take time to be empathetic and try to understand their pain , or interest point. I try to draw in and listen and go deeper, and from God’s Spirit, with the conversation on a feeling level. I use God’s word and his heart of intimacy, to motivate and influence others. I don’t have to use scripture or quote, I ask Him to join us.
What’s the hardest decision (or next to the hardest you ever had to make?)
Moving out and letting my kids do their own thing. Moving into a one bedroom and then having them to move out.
I had my first child at 15 first child, and last one at age 21. Letting them go and being able to trust that God was more interested in them, than I was. I would think: “If let go, I wont be able to reel them back in, but it was the wrong kind of control. I decided I would have to stay out of thier business and let them go.”
Secondly was my divorce – letting go was hard, but also knowing I heard God… yet feeling like a failure, and like I messed up. Trying to regroup and go forward.”
How do you define purpose and what do you believe your purpose is in life?
It’s the reason for living. The reason why I exist. It fuels my energy .
Purpose gives me passion and energy for my day. It lets me know there is a reason for my existence. I love theatre and poetry and song. and I believe God uses this gift of encouragement in me to inspire and to lead others.
What are you trying to find in your life journey? Do you expect to find it?
I am trying to find fulfillment. I want to see the materialization of the things God has given me to dream, …to come to pass. I dream really BIG. I want to see them things realized. Because they are promises to me.
What is calling your name? And… how may it possibly be connected to your challenge of courage… (or is it) ?
“What calls my name? Would that be good, bad or indifferent?” ( chuckle)
“CHANGE. God calls me to bring change to unchartered waters and called to address things that cause poverty to our souls and cause us to live under curses. Anything that can bring strength to address culture. God has called me to bring change to cultures. To Purify, like the meaning of my name. When I think about women and children in abusive homes, living under curses, and not needing to live this way and the abuse I sustained as a child, I have to bring change to this God-culture. (To heal.) It is necessary to follow this call, because “All of His promises are locked into my obedience.” Just because the abuse happened to me, doesn’t mean I have to live that way. In a negative manner, my past calls me. The things that keep me vulnerable. This is a challenge I have to constantly bring to God. This is a fight I have to bring to God, (my esteem, my weaknesses, my vulnerability.)
My past is NOT my not identity.
“That’s not my image, Who I am gets muddled with my past; and when you have been abused as a child, it settles into your image.” It becomes your identity and its important to know who God has called me to be. One has to care for their body. Your body is definitely a treasure.”
As you look at your life story, at what point would you say a new chapter began for you that prompted COURAGE to be more pronounced and grow much stronger in you?
Well, I would say several things in my life that have helped my courage to grow:
- At the age of 16 – I had a one-on-one experiences with God. I would talk to God endlessly.
- At the age of 22, I found a church and I understood that prayer was a two-way conversation and God spoke back.Then, God began to speak to my life through others and to my purpose. ( Prophecy.)
- In my 30’s – I joined my church in 2004 and then I realized that what I had endured, was in order that someone else could heal.
What values do you feel give you strength?
Integrity. Being an upright honest person, regardless of who is looking. My character is married to integrity. It’s who you are regardless. Honesty is not just telling the truth, but being honest with others and self.
If you enjoyed this story, VISIT HERE, TO READ MORE OF THEM!