I know that I literally JUST put up a post about my recent engagement to one Mr. Ryan Reynolds, but when love is in the driver’s seat, it places a lead foot on the accelerator and won’t let up. RyRy (as I call him) and I didn’t want to wait another second to make everything official so we threw a few million dollars at some wedding planners and had ourselves a regal ceremony. It wasn’t all champagne and merriment, though. Certain individuals (make that ONE individual) were unable to squelch their trifling jealously over my and Ryan’s courtship, and allowed their resentment to boil over…
Fortunately, armed with Vicodin*, I was able to assuage the wannabe-homewrecker. I cleaned the scratches on my face, slapped on some concealer and got myself hitched! I was even so gracious as to allow my attacker a seat on the balcony with me and my love…he was less than appreciative…
*I have never ACTUALLY been near Vicodin
*Yes, this is very much photoshopped.
