Self Expression Magazine

New Year Doldrums

Posted on the 04 January 2016 by Laurken @stoicjello

The unrest in the Middle East can keep a news cycle hopping. Genocide and atrocities can too, but those two things don’t often make hewslines. Not sure why, just no news ‘wow’ factor. So from now until March, with a slight increase around Valentine’s Day, but other than that…..yawn.

So to entertain myself, I’ll go after the things that irk me. The periphery people who saw a celebrity at the same restaurant and insists they had dinner with this away with person. Under the same roof, doesn’t equal being at the same table.

I’d love to be able to say that as I type, I have opera on the old stereo as I sip a humble chai tea while thumbing through the most recent NATO troop movement reports.

But I can’t. Mainly, because that would be a lie. That’s not who I am. That’s not who I even want to be. I wonder if that could even describe a handful of people and if that’s who they are, surely they’re confident, or at least too self possessed to tell anyone about it.

I dropped out of Facebook because of all the puckered red lip selfies. Celebrating a good hair day or finally locating the right concoction that would the four facial moles—and the eight hairs protruding from them. I dropped out because of all the bullshit lies piled up on FB like a virtual stockyard.

You’ve seen the pitiful offerings:

“I’m so in love. These very carefully selected photos of us together and happily posed ought to irk that bitch ex wife of his”

“Aww, he went to Jared’s”

“Look, we’re better than you. WE’RE traveling abroad this winter”

“See How gorgeous my children are”

“Look what a great mom I am……what a great dad he is”

“I post nifty sayings and memes from authors and noted thinkers to make it seem I’m so smart and so together”

“Trump”

“Hillary”

Narcissism has been given a green light to run amuck. Thanks Zuckerberg and that Napster guy.

Instagram? Some kind of cracker, right? Twitter? The sound a bird makes for $20, Alex.

Tumblr. Used to be a shatterproof cup for the clumsiest of families. It also described ‘one who tumbled’.

I’m a middle aged, chubby woman currently with a bad hair cut. If I have good days, I keep them to myself because they’re private and frankly, rare in occurrence. So, why share?

I think we share too much this days, we give away our souls. I used to do that…..give away everything….right here on this blog as well as professionally. I was clueless as to what boundaries really meant. They exist as s protective coating. Not impenetrable, we have to fortify them for that. And then again, being impervious isn’t all that fun either.

So forgive me if I don’t care if you feel like quoting Camus today. I don’t believe you can make up for the lack of a formal education by wishing Saliere a belated birthday. If Ptolemy is your fave know-it-all, I’m not sure anyone cares but you.

If you quote Heidegger one minute, then start cooing like a seventh grader over the latest Taylor Swift or Frankie Avalon song, it’s all for naught, honey. That falls flat, lacks ooomph. Be consistent.

Impress us with some throat singing from the Mayanmar Three or a little Wagner beyond KILL D’ WABBITT!!!!!

Next up: FOX News, Donald Trump and consultants…of any kind.


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