"You know what your problem is? When they were distributing EQ and SQ, you were on a bathroom break."
THAT is not my biggest problem. My biggest problem is that I have friends like this who come around telling me about the problems I have when I was quite content with life and not aware that I had ANY problems. Maybe THAT is a sign of low EQ and/or SQ - the fact that I end up with friends like this.
"Look at the way you behaved with Raj yesterday."
Now THIS is a guy who keeps talking without a smidgeon of encouragement from me and HE dares tell me that I am lacking in EQ/SQ. If he was looking for someone who lacked Emotional Quotient and Social Quotient, he need not have looked any further than his mirror.
"Every joke the poor chap told, you were trying to cap with a joke of your own."
Which poor...? Ah! Raj!
"So?"
"It did not cross your mind that laughing at a chap's joke makes him happier than trying to top his jokes?"
"As it probably did not cross yours that it was not Raj I was trying to make happy?"
"VERY wise of you. The other guys are not going to remember the whole episode for too long but Raj...even if he forgets the specifics, you probably are registered in his mind as an undesirable character. Way to win friends and influence people," he said applauding.
Yeah, yeah, you don't need to tell me that the applause was meant sarcastically. No matter what you think about my EQ/SQ, I'm not quite THAT stupid.
"AND the other day, with Mahesh."
Now what was this with Mahesh? Cannot be jokes since Mahesh could not recognize one if it was giftwrapped and labelled 'Joke' in size 72 font. In any case, he was an office colleague who we interacted with only in meetings.
"He came up with that great idea in yesterday's meeting. And you picked on the one or two minor flaws to elaborate on, without a word about the rest of his presentation."
Really? I mean, you are there in these meetings to get noticed for YOUR contributions. How was I going to get noticed for applauding along with everyone else?
"You probably thought you were showcasing how intelligent you are. You do the same thing when your own boss OR a senior colleague from another department presents something. You think they are going to be appreciative of how sharp you are."
Well, of course they would, no?
"All you are doing is getting a reputation as a naysayer. And that kiss of death - 'Not a Team man'."
Ye Gods! THAT is dangerous.
"So what do you think I must be doing?"
"Praise where praise is due. AND find something new to praise or a new way to praise if you want to stand out from the crowd."
"How is that going to help establish MY intelligence?"
The chap looked me over and I curled up inside. Here comes the usual 'WHAT intelligence?"
He must have been in a mellow mood. So...
"Well, what man wants to think that the person who is praising him is an idiot? After all, the worth of the praise depends on the worthiness of the person who is praising. So, naturally, you will be considered smart," he said with a meaningful look that completed the sentence with, "instead of the dumbf**k that you really are."
Ah! Well! Perhaps they DID distribute the EQ/SQ when I was in the bathroom after all!
