On My 21st

I had chicken pox on my birthday. Yes, on my birthday. And just before my midterm exams.
I should've known.
January 30th.I fell asleep on the afternoon, which was unusual since I've been having trouble sleeping days ago. I went to school only to find out that there was no class. I came home feeling really tired and cold. I was having a fever.
January 31st. My birthday.I woke up with a heavy head, feeling cold. And when I scratched my rib, a liquid thing came out of it. I knew it was bad. I texted papa and requested him if he could ask my sister the symptoms of chicken pox. I asked my older sister, a doctor, about it too. I had chicken pox. On my birthday. Just before midterms.
I went frantic. And the rest was history. I went frantic all throughout history.
I asked myself why this has to happen. Guess it automatically does, when things don't go your way you tend to ask why. Why now. Why this. Why me. I told mom that if I won't make it this semester, I'd officially quit school.
I was confused. Just when I was driven to make things right, to give all that I got to achieve something, just when I was starting to want something, I got sick. Everything collapsed right before my very eyes. I was helpless. I thought that maybe this is God's way of telling me that I have to end it here. That I'm not meant for this. That this isn't for me. For so long I've been on a journey of finding out what is for me. And today that I am sick while alone and away from everyone, before big tests, on my birthday, I just feel like maybe this is the answer I've been waiting for.
Now I'm struggling to bounce back to where I was.
Indeed it was a surprise. It wasn't the usual happy birthday. Still, it was full of love, care and friendship. This maybe a start of a real life. But with family and friends around me, I think I'm ready.
This year I had no candles to blow, no friends to hug, no pictures to keep but I have people to love and God to thank for things I've had through the years.
I thank my Lord for giving me another year to make things right. I thank Him that I only had chicken pox on my day. I ought not to feel sorry and bad because others' sickness and struggles are nothing compared to mine. I thank Him for giving me new friends to keep me happy and old friends who will always be there for me. I thank Him for my family, most specially, for everything.
Thank you, mama, papa, sibs. Thank you friends. Thank you, love. Thank you, Daddy God.
Happy 21st birthday self!