It's not often that I talk about my bout with depression and how I lived with someone that was severely depressed and almost killed herself.
I also don't talk much about the loss of my best friend after an accidental prescription mishap.
AND, I don't really let myself get down, be down, or express my sadness when something quite public happens that reminds me of all I have gone through.
But this week is different. The sudden loss of someone loved by many and admired by many more brought to the surface all my losses and my depression.
My usual nature of putting it all behind me, even smiling through the pain, is not working. I have avoided going out seeing people, or spending time on social media...but I can't be hidden for much longer.
Life goes on.
There's work to do. People to take care of. Me.
Today I put lipstick on, cut my hair, and smile at strangers.
Today I pretend, once again, that life goes on.
Today I push myself into thinking myself that pain is only a memory, and that laughing is the best prescription to fight sadness.
Wish me luck.