Pay It Forward

Posted on the 02 February 2013 by Kcsaling009 @kcsaling

Thursday night, I had the pleasure of watching the upcoming class of engineer officers choose their first duty stations. Having gone through the same thing myself {and I’m astonished to admit it was 12 years ago}, I remembered the excitement, but I also remembered the uncertainty.

Granted, my students have a lot of certainty in an uncertain world. They know that they will be graduating and going to jobs. They know they’ll probably have that job for at least five years. They know that job will be dangerous at times, very rewarding at others, and will challenge them in ways that they haven’t been challenged previously. The uncertainty lies in the details. Getting moved, getting settled in a new place, starting a new job. The difficulties that come with adapting to an established workspace.

Everyone faces that going from college to a new job {or an old job to a new job}. We look at that now and laugh a little about how clueless we were at first, and now we know what to do. Chances are, though, we got some advice along the way. Maybe it was after we fell on our faces or screwed something up the first few times {guilty}, but we still got pieces of advice that really, really helped.

The best way to repay good mentorship is by being a good mentor. If someone was unselfish enough to give their time to help you be better at your job or be a better person at some point in your life, you should find time to do the same. Not only are you helping someone work through their problems and reach a better solution, but you’re expanding your own view of the world.

Photo: http://powerfulpurpose.com

To be a good mentor, here are some things to consider:

  1. Make yourself available, but let them come to you. This hearkens back to my philosophy on problem solving – sometimes, in order to teach someone, you have to let them try. As a mentor, I make sure that the students and young officers I work with know that I’m available, know what my experience and background is, and know that I’m there if they want to talk, but I let them come to me with what they want to know or whatever they might be struggling with.
  2. Be a role model. If you want your mentees to do something, do it yourself. People who might seek your mentorship learn a lot from you just by watching how you handle certain situations, and if what you say is in line with what you do, you’ll gain credibility. That’s not to say that you can’t teach based on your mistakes {I have many to choose from}, but if you tell your mentees to do something one way and always do it another, you won’t have any credibility.
  3. Show and be genuinely interested. A mentorship relationship often involves personal questions and personal issues that your mentee will want to bring to you, so you have to be genuinely interested to help. I say “interested” and not “care” because also you want to be able to give somewhat objective advice, though.
  4. Tell your story. Your mentees can learn much from your successes and your mistakes. Often, telling the story of how you dealt with the same issue can lead the mentee to developing their own solutions and conclusions.
  5. You don’t have to know everything to be a mentor. Don’t be afraid to say you don’t know. But do be prepared with options. If you don’t know how to deal with a certain issue, you should probably know who does know how to deal with it, or where to find out.

Mentorship isn’t something that can really be formalized, though. There’s no checklist for the things that will make someone seek you out as a mentor or listen to your advice. If you find yourself in that position, though, it can be a truly rewarding experience.

What tips do you have on being a good mentor?

KCS