NOTE TO READERS: THE WRITE UP MAY CONTAIN EXPLICIT CONTENT OR CERTAIN PROFANITIES MAY BE USED. PLEASE READ ON AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION.
DISCLAIMER: THIS WORK BELONGS SOLELY TO ME, IF YOU ARE USING IT, PLEASE CREDIT.
CHAPTER ONE
– Darrell –
The sound of an alarm ringing broke the silence in the room. I jumped and turned to where the alarm laid ringing, concentration broken. It was 4am. I was supposed to have taken a break, gone to bed and wake up at precisely 4am to continue composing. Being the stubborn me, I could not shake off the feeling that clung to me. I was in this phase, many would call a writer’s block, but I knew that it wasn’t the typical writer’s block where one didn’t even have a clue on where to begin. In my case, I couldn’t let go of the nagging feeling that I knew somewhere in that screwed up brain of mine, I had the brilliant idea all planned out waiting for me to just pull it out to pen down onto paper.
Looking down at the paper on the desk in front of me, I saw a long pencil mark scratched across the white lines. It must have gotten itself there when I jumped out of my chair five feet high just seconds ago. I quickly crushed the paper, and threw it to over to my right side, where the rolled up ball bounced a couple of times before joining the rest of its friends. Placing my guitar carefully back at the stand next to me, I pushed my chair back and walked over to the bed behind me. Leaning forward arms stretched out, I smack the alarm clock on the nightstand, silencing the annoying cries that were supposed to have sent me shooting up and out of bed if I had fallen asleep like I had intended.
Running a hand down my face, covering my eyes, debating with myself whether I should take my nap now or get myself a nice breakfast before making another attempt at finding the ideas that love playing hide and seek with me. Fuck the sleep, I needed to get at least 6 songs down by next week so that the band will be on schedule for recording our next album and prepare for the launch and all the PR stuffs Gilbert has been pestering me about for the last month or so. We needed this new album so that we will be able to get back onto the road for another live tour around the US. I miss being on the road. Given of course touring with 3 other males with raging testosterones in a cramped and stuffy bus for 3 months isn’t exactly what one would describe as fun, but being on stage hearing the crowd sing along with your songs as you play and screaming your name and shouting encouragements as well as other not so innocent vocabulary, was what gave me the drive to stay alive. I loved music, and the band had been my life ever since we started together 3 years ago. We had gone through the gutters together, living in shabby places, moving around, playing in small pubs and bars trying to earn a decent living. The one that managed to put us boys into place and gave us the motivation to do more was our bassist, the only girl in the band, Rei. A shy quiet girl who came for the audition 2 years ago, and ever since then, we had stuck together, working harder than we’ve never known possible. She was like our princess. You can’t have the princess living in a sleazy street can you?
Signing at the memories, my mind was made up. Looks like coffee across the street won 3 hours of sleep. On the way out of the bedroom, I pulled out a plain long sleeved V-necked black t-shirt from the closet and tugged it over my head, it’s hem resting loosely over my straight cut faded blue jeans. Stopping briefly at the mirror hanging behind the door of the closet, I ran a hand through my hair, smoothing out the tangles which I had no idea how they even got there since I had not even lain my head on the bed.
Two minutes later and I was on my way out through the front door, cellphone and wallet in hand. Humming softly I quickly went down the stairs of my seven-storied apartment building, careful not to wake up any neighbors.
It was a refreshing night. Stepping out onto the sidewalk, I took a deep breath, inhaling the cool September air into my lungs. I need to relax. I need to draw those cheeky notes out of their hiding place so I can make everyone happy once the songs are completed.
A chirp and a vibration from my right hand pulled my focus back to reality. Sliding a finger across my iPhone I check the message. It was from Dave, our drummer. The guys were having a little drinking session at his place right now and they wanted to know if I am awake to join them. The thought of those jack asses getting wasted all over Dave’s living room while playing Halo 3 or Fatal Frame caused me to let out a chuckle. Shaking my head, I typed. Can’t do bro. Gonna get my brain up with coffee at Uncle Sam’s. Hold one for me once the songs are done. Send. The reply was almost instant. Sure man, if you need us over there to keep you awake, just call. Smiling, I replied an okay, and crossed the traffic less road to the lighted up cafe.
-//-
Pushing the heavy door, I walk into Uncle Sam’s. To my surprise, I found a few other patrons sitting leisurely scattered throughout the place. I ordered an Americano and took the steaming paper cup in hand to an empty seat facing the door at the far end of the cafe.
Just as I was getting my ass onto the hard wooden chair, I hear a familiar string of Latin chanting. prodigia comploratus, silens oro, regnet exitium. It was my ringtone. Must be one of the guys checking in cause they can’t get the mood up without me. Smiling at the thought, I swiped the screen of my phone without checking the caller ID, placed it at my ear and spoke into the cell.
“Sup bro, can’t do without me?” I didn’t realize I was still smiling like an idiot.
“Hey dearie, can you drop by my place, I need you now…” A slurry voice breathed down on the other end.
Goosebumps rose all over my body as I shivered in the warmth of the café. The one voice that if possible, I never ever want to hear. The familiar rolling of the words on her tongue caused me to heave inwardly.
“Carolyn… Why are you calling me? You’re drunk. I’m hanging up now. Oh, and don’t ever try to call me again.” As the seconds ticked away, fear managed to override the initial anger that I felt. My hands clenched in tight fists till you can see only white, I exhaled slowly.
A giggle broke through my train of thoughts. “You can’t hide nor run from me my dear boy… not after what we had. This won’t be the last…” Click. The line went dead.
Putting my phone back on the table, I shut my eyes, trying to calm myself. The breathing control exercises that I was doing didn’t seem to be working on my nerves. The memories that flood my mind as her voice keeps ringing in my head made my vision swirl. The past is the past, but it also meant that it will affect my present and future in its own subtle ways. Even now I still shudder every time I think of her hands on my body, skin against skin, flesh against flesh. It was so long ago… yet it felt as though it had never ceased happening, as flashbacks to the years ago kept replaying over and over again every night, whenever I close my eyes till the moment reopen them.
I downed my still steaming hot coffee in 4 huge gulps, I slammed the paper cup onto the desk, hands shaking uncontrollably. There are only two things that can get my mind off this effed up reality. One, performing. Two, pussy. And right now, I sure as hell can use a good fuck. A quick glance at the time on my cell told me that I wouldn’t be getting any. What can be worse than pent up frustration?
The sound of the door opening pulled me out of my monologue, but I didn’t bother looking up. Must be another nocturnal creature like me, in need of coffee. Time to go back to the stuffy, okay not stuffy, but pathetically lonely apartment of mine and get down to work. Walking over to the food display next to the counter, I stood in line and glanced at the type of bagels available. The clashing of coins hitting the floor and the counter top to my left made my head turn.
Holy shit. Breakfast is served.