Philosophy of Tax Filing

Yup.  That evil time is coming up soon where most people in the country bow their heads in their palms and shamefully regret that they didn't keep their receipts and records.  And I'm pretty sure that almost everyone wonders why there isn't an easier way now that we have all this technology?  The truth is there is.  But it's like signing a contract with the devil, except with less chanting and blood and gore.  By asking the help of the tax consultants, you are basically handing all your dark dirty secrets to them....say like you spent $400 dollars on a pair of heels and try to write it off as medical/business expenses (not that I have recently!).  The reasons are the following:
1) you simply can't wear flats as they KILL your feet as your feet are genetically molded to the fittings of heels, and heels are the ONLY way to go
2) these heels enhance your desire to strut around much more to promote better health from this vigorous aerobic exercise
3) my second reasoning leads to a greater chance of having a better social life and lessens your chance of getting depressed as we all know in Psych 101 that a better social network leads to better health and life expectancy and better chance of fighting off cancer (you don't want me to die from possible future cancer do you, society?!?)
4) these heels promotes better sex life which also counts as exercise which counts toward better healthy lifestyle; and as we all know, better sex life tends to lead to a better marriage and lesser chance of a divorce
5) you NEED them for work as the statistics points out that taller more attractive people tend to have a higher paycheck than shorter less attractive people, and me being 4 feet 10 (treading on officially being a midget which you need to be 4 feet 9 the most), I can totally use that edge!
6) you NEED them for your psychological well-being as they soothe your inner bitch and turn you into a caring nurturing person that this world needs a lot more of
The list can go on and on...as a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure I can write a book about why women and the society need heels.  I know that some women will go all feminist on me saying heels is a step back from the triumph of feminism.  But the fact is that I am a feminist too (the equality kind and not the radical kind who frowns upon bras as well) .  Yet I firmly believe in heels and bras as well (bras is essential to prevention saggy boobies which is another entire book by itself).
All these reasons seem much more intriguing than those retched tax forms.  And yes, I'm procrastinating by writing a blog blurb about tax forms.  But if I tell you the real reason, you'd be all understanding towards my situation.  The truth is I have not one, but two tax filings to do.  Being newly American and all, I am apparently still Canadian.  So that points toward the whole "I still have to do my Canadian duties" and all.  Yup!  TWO TAX FILINGS!  So when you read this blog and be all grumpy that you have to file tax, be thankful that you don't have to file tax TWICE. 
Back to my tax purgatory.
By the way, I did buy a pair of heels recently.  But it definitely is not $400.  It's about $20 at TJ Max.
What a steal, eh?  And it totally goes with my obsession of things that are red, sparkley, and sky high heels.  So do I need to rethink about this purchase?  BIG.  FAT.  NO.