Diaries Magazine

Please Forgive My Vertigo!

Posted on the 01 June 2012 by Mikidemann @mikidemann
I hope you haven’t noticed, but if you have, I have been MIA this week. As you may recall last week I started my punctuation, and I woke up on Sunday feeling really sick. I kind of attributed it to the punctuation. Thinking that since my cramps are so bad, and usually I never feel top notch it was another weird side effect of my stupid punctuation.
I was having a hard time explaining it, but I felt really dizzy. Dizzy is a bad word, because it’s a million times worse than that. The dizziness I have been feeling will not go away. Seriously every minute of the day I feel like I am spinning around in circles. My eyes can’t focus, I can’t walk to the bathroom, I can’t stand long enough to make spaghetti. I wish I could explain it better. I am so dizzy I definitely cannot function correct. So anyway, after 3 days of this horrible HORRIBLE dizziness I finally decided I couldn’t self diagnose myself and needed to go to the doctor. The worst part about the story is that I don’t have health insurance, I don’t get on my husbands until October. Stupid, I know.Which is why I waited so long to go to the doctor anyway.
I went to the insta care. I was shaking, because I wanted there to be something wrong with me. I hate when doctor’s just say, if it gets worse come back. It’s like it is obviously bad enough that I am here now, how much worse does it need to get? But luckily I had a really cool doctor who was genuinely trying to help me. He performed lots of test with my eyes, and ears and did the whole physical thing (ick!). I hate peeing in those cups. I could barely stand on my own, let alone carry a cup of my own urine across the hallway. Yuck my gag.
So finally after 2 1/2 hours, he tells me that he’s worried it’s something in my brain and he suggests I go to the ER. I was about ready to bawl, I just wanted it to be a ear infection, get and antibiotic and go home. So he tells us to head to the ER about a mile down the road, and he will call and give them a heads up we’re coming.
We get there, and immediately put me in a gown and hook me up to a heart monitor. I was freaking the hell out! I was so worried, that my heart rate was incredibly high. They were thinking I could have a heart mumur because of how high it was, and how high my blood pressure was. But luckily after keeping me hooked up to the monitor for over an hour my levels went down. Can you see the hicki that the heart monitor pads left on me? There are 4 hidden around my body. If you didn’t hear this story then you’d see me and think a large mouth bass ransacked my body.photocopy-2012-05-31-20-41.JPGSo the ER doctor did a few more tests while I was in a backless gown and diagnosed me with Benign Postional Vertigo. He says it’s pretty rare, and he only sees about 100 cases a year, and rarely any that are as young as I am. He said there are a couple causes, but the gist of it is that something is inflamed, built up or blocking the organ behind my inner ear, and that is what is causing the dizziness. He told me some cases last months, the longest he has heard of is 6 weeks! I pray with all my heart mine doesn’t last that long. I started to tear up when he told me that, and he told me he understands. It’s incredibly hard to explain to your work or ANYONE around you that you cannot function because you’re dizzy. It’s obvious by watching me walk, that I cannot do it, but it’s a really hard ailment to describe, and it makes you feel like you are crazy. I seriously cannot tell you how out of my mind I have felt for the past 4 days saying I cannot do anything because I am dizzy. So he gave me some motion sickness meds, which kinda help. Not really, even though the doctor said he knew that wouldn’t help, I thought I’d try it out. The only thing he gave me to help is valum, it’s most like an anti depressant and it makes you sleep like a rock.
In conclusion I am not dying, don’t have a brain tumor and that’s awesome! But there isn’t anything to fix my ailment, my body has to handle it on it’s own, and just have to sit home and be extremely dizzy for however long this lasts.
This is my wrist band they gave me at the ER. I cracked up, when they put the “fall risk” band on my arm. Only because it’s true, you really should see me walk around it’s pretty pathetic.photo-2012-05-31-20-41.JPG

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