P&M XI - No Offense Meant

I have always been fascinated by this story that is told in various versions. The version that I had runs something like this
An old King wanted to get back his youth and, tyrannical as kings could be, declared that he would put all his doctors to death unless they found him a way. The distressed doctors went to their chief pleading him to find a way out of this dilemma. The old doctor came to the king with a vial of medicine and said "Your Majesty! Drink this medicine and, if for the next twenty-four hours, you do not think of mangoes at all you will regain your youth." The King rewarded the doctor handsomely and took the medicine but, to his vexation, found that he could think of nothing but mangoes the whole of the next twenty-four hours thus losing, as he thought, his chance at regaining his youth.
Whenever I hear the phrase, "No offense meant but..." I am reminded of this tale. I have never heard of a more counter-productive phrase than this, specifically when it is used at the beginning. The moment you hear it, you are automatically tuned to seeing whatever comes afterwards as potentially, if not actually, offensive when, without that preamble, you may never have thought of being offended. Why, I daresay that in most cases if you said "No offense meant but you look lovely today" the other person would start thinking, "Ah! Since there is something offensive in this, he must mean that I have never looked lovely till today" or, worse still, "So! He is so surprised that even I can look lovely. What an a******". Drop that phrase and things may be far more pleasant.
The phrase may have more meaning when said at the end - especially when you can see the other person and judge that offense has been taken. Though, I hardly think that saying this is automatically likely to incline the other person to thinking that you really did not mean any offense.
There are variants of this phrase - meant to soothe any possible hurt - and not really serving the purpose. Like "Don't take me otherwise" which automatically inclines the other person into thinking of all the other ways that it can be taken and the most offensive ones at that.
I, particularly, have an aversion to the "maybe it is only me". It sounds, invariably to me, too much like, "Of course it is not only me but who knows what an idiot like you can get into his stupid brain". Or, maybe, it is only me who takes it like this.
Saying something that has the potential to hurt someone is a difficult art and, if you have not mastered it, it is best to avoid doing so. If it is unavoidable, however, these shortcuts are really no help and there is no point in whining, "I said no offense meant and the other person still took offense." Don't take me otherwise, though, for these opinions - maybe it is only me!